Seven Chances #MovieReview

Film 347 in the “1001 (1187) films to see before you die” challenge is 1925’s “Seven Chances”. Starring and directed by Buster Keaton and based on Roi Cooper Megrue’s 1916 play of the same name, this romantic comedy is about a man who learns that he will inherit a fortune if he gets married by 7 pm that same day. And like all Buster Keaton films, hilarity ensues. Expect not in this film. At no point throughout this film did I laugh. I didn’t even crack a chuckle. Halfway through the film I even asked if it was wrong that I hadn’t laughed yet. Either this film has aged badly or my idea of humour isn’t making the films (I think that makes sense). I’m probably not going to remember this film within the next hour. Nothing stood out. It was just Buster Keaton running around trying to find a bride only for almost everyone he talks to laughing at him. Granted, he’s doing himself any favours by walking up to women and asking for marriage without even saying hi. How rude! Also, the chase scene towards the end of the film goes on for far too long. It’s almost an entire 3rd of the film and it’s only 56 minutes long! Also, at one point in the film, I was about to write a proposed idea. What Buster Keaton’s character should have done is start out in the country club like he did but after that fails, try the gentleman’s club instead of having every bachelorette in the country wreaking havoc and injuring entire NFL teams (both of those things did happen in this film). Overall, I didn’t enjoy watching this and I wouldn’t recommend it. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1925’s “Seven Chances”

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Film – Seven Chances
Year – 1925
Director – Buster Keaton
Written By – Clyde Bruckman, Jean Havez & Joseph A Mitchell
Starring – Buster Keaton, Ruth Dwyer, T Roy Barnes
IMDb Rating – 8/10
My Rating – 2/10
Length – 56 mins
Genre – Comedy, Romance

So… Only Buster Keaton’s character has a name – It’s James
Reading
We open with James and “His Partner” chatting outside the gate to their home with a baby Dalmatian
Wait… When it change from spring to autumn?
And now it’s winter? Ok then
So… We’re led to believe that they stayed stood outside that gate for most of the year as the seasons pass by
Nice to know James is a broker
What is that haircut she’s wearing? It’s the worst bowl cut I’ve ever seen! Up there with that one person from Dexter’s Laboratory?
Does this guy know it’s rude to storm into people’s rooms without knocking?
I have no idea what’s just happened and we’re only 6 minutes in
How to deal with a stalker – Just head to the country club and let security deal with him
They got back to the office very quickly
And this is why glasses either have string or legs so they don’t fall off your head
$7 million in a will??? Only if James gets married before he turns 27… Which is today!
James is practising what to say while Mary eavesdrops
Well… I guess that’s one way to say yes
I like how the text underlines the word “Some” constantly
“I don’t mean some girl – I can marry any girl! I-I mean, it don’t matter who I marry, but I must wed someone!” – OK, I’ll take it back. It’s looks messy
So.. I’m guessing Mary said no after all that
Has James knocked the phone onto something? Or is the phone on his end really loud?
I have no idea what that says
And this man with his horse just so happens to know where James works?
Wait… Who’s she hiding in the office?
Doesn’t matter as we’re at a ballroom
James may as well shout “SOMEONE MARRY AND I’LL GIVE YOU MONEY” and see what happens
OK… let’s not marry the laughing woman.. Or anyone here as they’re all laughing at me
How to propose to someone according to this film – Get on one knee… and get laughed at again while kids play golf
As if that slip of paper can be thrown that high in the air?
And the next idea doesn’t work as she thinks James’s mate wants her to marry some creepy old man
“Who bats next?” – What does that mean?
Is it wrong that there hasn’t been any comedy so far?
James may as well give all of them a massive middle finger for laughing at him
Ok… Why is there a tree planted in the middle of the road?
Now James is in a hairdressers and gets kicked out for inappropriate touching of a woman’s chin
Wait… James’s mate managed to get a full page advert in the newspaper for James’s wedding taking place that day?
Scotchman?
Women then start to arrive at the church as James falls asleep
JESUS – Almost the entire town wants to marry him!!!
There wasn’t that many when we started the film
The priest isn’t having any of it and demands every woman leave causing a rear riot
So… That note that no one could read is Mary’s marriage acceptance
Ironic! The owner of a clock shop’s clock has died
Why are all the women stealing bricks?
Meanwhile at a rugby game, both sets of teams are injured because of rampaging brides
Wait.. A group of armed police are afraid of brides?
What the hell is going on?
This chase can only go on for so long before it gets boring
And everyone thinks James has been ran over by a train only for his cover to be blown
How to avoid marriage – Run through barbed wire and beehives to escape
Erm… Where did a giant mountain come from?
You meaning to tell me James ran all those miles and not only not break a sweat but not get tired?
Also, how did he end up in the desert? He was in a town 5 minutes ago? Are we in Vegas?
Meanwhile, Mary waits… and waits
The brides are finally scared away by a avalanche of boulders
James makes it but he’s too late to get the $7 million
But wait… It’s not 7pm just yet
And with 20 seconds left, James and Mary get married
THE END

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