Shrek #MovieReview

After nearly a month away because the last film I reviewed, 2004’s “Garfield”, made me physically depressed that I needed to recharge my batteries… again. So I thought, “Why not watch something I liked as a kid and see if it holds up today?”. That film in question… 2001’s “Shrek”. Co-directed by Andrew Adamson & Vicky Jenson in their directorial debuts, this animated adventure comedy is loosely based on William Steig’s 1990 picture book of the same name and sees Shrek (Mike Myers) with the aid of Donkey (Eddie Murphy) rescue Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) in order to get his swamp back from Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow). I did notice something instantly. As good as this film was, the jokes that use to make me laugh at as a kid aren’t working anymore. I did enjoy the fairytale twist they did but besides from that, I just sat through the film and thought, “ok then”. Shrek as a character is loud, Donkey is so annoying that he has given me a headache, Fiona just breaks the 4th wall repeatedly when she describes how fairy tales are meant to be and Farquaad is… not in this film enough. I think he only get about 15/20 screentime. Besides from the plot and the occasional spoof jokes they made throughout, what is there to remember about the first Shrek film? Ok… Maybe Smash Mouth. Is this a film you can watch and enjoy? Yes. It’s just that everything I enjoyed is no more. I hate being a grown up. Nowadays, the only time we talk about Shrek is because of that weird as hell “Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life” video from a few years back or if we feel like we need to continue comparing him to Wayne Rooney. Overall, I enjoyed this film but growing up sucks. If you have seen this film or any of the sequels then let me know in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 2001’s “Shrek”

shrek_ver2

Film – Shrek
Year – 2001
Director –  Andrew Adamson & Vicky Jenson
Written By – Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Joe Stillman, Roger S H Schulman
Starring –  Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow
IMDb Rating – 7.9/10
My Rating – 7/10
Length – 90 mins (1h 30min)
Genre – Animation, Adventure, Comedy

We open like any good film, with our main character reading a fairytale while on the toilet
And no good film is complete without Smash Mouth playing over the opening credits
Thanks Shrek for explaining what ogres do with it’s victims
Wait… If these are wanted fairytale creatures, what fairytale is Donkey from?
Is it me or the animation looks a little rubbery?
And Donkey has escaped the guards just by hiding behind Shrek
Did Donkey just namedrop Tic Tacs?
Is there such a thing as a nice boulder?
Wait… How would Donkey be making waffles in the morning?
That’s one way to make a candle
Wait… How did the three blind mice get inside?
Wait… What’s every fairytale creature doing at Shrek’s swamp?
Thanks Three Little Pigs for explaining everything
16 minutes in and we finally get to see our evil villain… Lord Farquaad
So… Farquaad is interrogating The Gingerbread Man by breaking his legs and drowning him in milk?
And now for another ode to Snow White with the mirror
Did I accidentally put Blind Date on?
A song about pina coladas in a kids film?
Meanwhile, Shrek and Donkey find Farquaad’s castle which is also a theme park
This clearly is a spoof of Disney’s Magic Kingdom
Did not need “It’s a Small World” stuck in my head! Thanks film!
And now a spoof on wrestling
And Farquaad becomes an evil commissioner and books Shrek against all his guards with the winner the one who rescues Princess Fiona
Double clothesline by Shrek followed by a crossbody before Donkey assists with a headbutt
DQ! Farquaad disqualify Shrek! He’s using an illegal object and he has a non-sanctioned partner getting involved!
Airplane spin followed by a superkick and Shrek and Donkey are the winners
Farquaad then makes Shrek rescue Fiona in order to get his swamp back
Did Shrek just compare himself to an onion?
What is a parfait?
And now for a travel montage
How to make someone do something they don’t like – Force them to do it
“Two things. Shut… Up”  – That’s not two things. That’s two words
The two split paths as Donkey is sent to find steps but instead finds a dragon
Luckily for Shrek, he manages to lands in the tower Fiona just happens to be sleeping in
And now to start the relationship between Donkey and a dragon
Well that’s one way to wake a sleeping beauty
Thanks Fiona for explaining how fairytales about saving princesses are meant to happen
And the dragon just kissed Shrek’s ass while he saves Donkey
And that is why you don’t slide down staircases with your legs apart
EPIC SLOW MOTION OF EPIC-NESS!!!!
Thanks again Fiona for explaining a knight’s role in fairytales
And because Shrek is an ogre Fiona thinks the fairytale is ruined
Haha… Farquaad is small
So… Fiona needs to be in bed before sundown?
Wait… Shrek can tell stories with stars?
So… Shrek think he’s been bullied by everyone hence why he lives in a swamp?
Meanwhile… Farquaad is preparing for his wedding by staring at a photo of Fiona while in bed
Don’t think eggs come from pigeons?
And Fiona has been stolen by Robin Hood
Robin Hood has his own band
And now for a spoof of The Matrix with Fiona playing the Keanu Reeves role
And now for more ass related humour with Shrek having an arrow removed
And now for another travel montage
Nothing says romantic dinner for two like roasted rats over a camp fire
Thanks Donkey for conferming the rumour that Shrek likes Fiona
So… It turns out and Fiona is actually an ogre
So… Fiona turns into an ogre every night just because someone put a spell on her – Was it Screamin’ Jay Hawkins?
And Shrek arrives at the wrong time to hear Fiona say talk about herself but Shrek thinks it’s about him
So… Shrek got so upset he told Farquaad where Fiona was sleeping overnight?
Wait… You can get proposed and married in the same day?
And now for another montage set to a cover of Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah”
Meanwhile, Donkey reunited with the dragon
And he also found Shrek and the two immediately argue but the two quickly make up
And off to the wedding they do since Fiona wanted it to happen before the sun set
How’s Donkey meant to hear anything from that height and through a window?
A wedding with cue cards for the audience?
And because Shrek delayed the wedding Fiona turns into an ogre
And Farquaad makes himself king… Just because he can
Well… Farquaad’s reign as king lasted
So…. Fiona marries Shrek which breaks her cursed spell and keeps her as an ogre
And for more Smash Mouth covering The Monkees to end the film
THE END

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