Happiness #MovieReview

Film 302 in the ‘1001 Films to See Before You Die’ challenge is 1998’s “Happiness”. Directed by Todd Solondz, this comedy drama is about the lives of three sisters, their families and those around them. This film was Roger Ebert’s 5th best film he saw in 1998 and is also won the FIPRESCI Prize at the 1998 Cannes Film Festival. So, according to Facebook, today is ‘International Day of Happiness’ so why not watch a film called “Happiness”. What could possibly go wrong? Well… EVERYTHING!!! What have been listening to? I feel like my brain’s been abused with filth and smut.This film has left a scar in my head that I don’t think will ever go away. First of all, I did not need to see grown men having a wank in both children’s magazines and in the Yellow Pages. Second, the amount of masturbation seen and talked about was too much that I don’t think South Park would touch it with a 10ft pole. Was the message of the film meant to tell us about how we, as humans, express happiness? Was it saying that some people find happiness in The Yellow Pages? Was it saying teaching your kid about sex education is a sign of happiness? I’m glad I stopped when I did as I heard about a scene where the dad drugs and rapes his son’s friend. You read that correctly. I lasted 38 minutes before I got too grossed out to continue. Fun Fact of the Film – Director Todd Solondz makes a cameo in this film as the doorman in Allen, Helen & Kristina’s building. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I managed to say while watching 1998’s “Happiness”. Now excuse me while I try and wash the vision of this film away for life
happiness.jpg

Film – Happiness
Year – 1998
Director – Todd Solondz
Written by – Todd Solondz
Staring – Jane Adams, Jon Lovitz, Philip Seymour Hoffman
IMDb Rating – 7.8
My Rating – TOO GROSSED OUT TO CONTINUE
Length – 134 min (2h 14min)
Genre – Comedy, Drama

We open with a couple who both look like their about to burst into tears

These two are literally doing a Yelp review during this film

Could’ve probably cut out a lot of this dead air

You bought me a tiny pot with “Joy” on it?!? I don’t want to see you anymore

Wait… He just took it back because he thinks she doesn’t love him

This man thinks all women want men for their money not their looks – Is this true?

Oh hey Philip Seymour Hoffman

You want to do what to her ass?

OK. I know it’s only 7:30pm on a Sunday when I’m watching this but this is far too early to talk about wanting a girl to swallow *******

You’ve been on my screen for about two minutes and you’ve already come across as a creep

Cut to later in the day and Hoffman’s character is about to break into a sweat about seeing a girl in a elevator

Shout out to the Target grocery bag

That’s not something I wanted to see – Philip Seymour Hoffman in his boxers

Are all cartoons full of violence?

Is red meat the cure for happiness?

Her shirt matches the wallpaper in the background

15 minutes in and I have no idea who anyone is

Cut to a man with a gun in park killing everyone… Just because

So… He gets joy from killing people?!?

Shout out to Kool magazine for kids

Erm… Are you…. masturbating to a kids magazine?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!! And in the back seat of your car in public

Wait… They’re a couple?!?

“What does cum mean?” – I’m sorry 10 year old child

Time for a sex education lesson about masturbation – Like I didn’t just see that 3 minutes ago

WHAT AM I LISTENING TO?!?!? I WANNA THROW UP!!!

So far Billy is the most normal person in this film

Cut to an old woman sleeping in hospital

HOW MANY MEDS?!?!

So… You’re reason for getting a divorce is because “I wanna be alone” – WHAT?!?

Cut to a woman on the phone while a buff man works out?

Why does she have a brown patch under her ass on her jeans?

NO!!!! Hoffman!!! Why are you masturbating over the phone!??!

Did you… just glue an envelope to the wall… using your… ****?!?

So… Someone killed Pedro… and chopped his penis off – Who’s Pedro

Wait… You just tore up tickets to the NBA Play-offs!??! – You could’ve sold them to fund Pedro’s funeral

Wait… The guy from the beginning killed himself

Who’s Andy?

How did Andy’s mother find out the number to where Joy works?

You know what… I TOO GROSSED OUT TO CONTINUE

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