Modern Times #MovieReview

Film 292 in the ‘1001 Films to See Before You Die’ challenge is 1936’s “Modern Times”. Directed and staring Charlie Chaplin, this comedy film sees The Little Tramp (Chaplin) struggle to survive in the modern, industrialized world. So… This is a comedy? And this stars Charlie Chaplin? Both are correct but there is one problem.. Not once did I laugh at anything in this film! I was asking more questions then I was laughing. Why is Chaplin being a dick to his co-workers? What’s his obsession with tightening knobs and buttons? Who is this random woman we keep cutting to? And what is she doing with that banana? Also, according to this film, having a nervous breakdown means you run around your work place squirting them in the face with water or in Chaplin’s case, oil! Now, as someone who has had nervous breakdowns in the past, and others might have had the same happen to them, I didn’t squirt people in the face. Instead I curled up into a ball and stared crying until my eyes turned red. If you haven’t guessed it already, I hated this film as it left me asking questions rather than laughing and pissed me of with it’s idea of nervous breakdowns. When this film was released, The Guardian had this to say about the film, ‘In Modern Times Chaplin proves again what the whole world already acknowledges – that he is the greatest artist of the silent screen’. Fun Fact of the Film – Human voices are only heard through mechanical objects such as radios or phonographs. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1936’s ‘Modern Times’
Modern_Times_poster.jpg

Film – Modern Times
Year – 1936
Director – Charlie Chaplin
Written by – Charlie Chaplin
Staring – Charlie Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Henry Bergman
IMDb Rating – 8.6/10
My Rating – I will never look at bananas normally again
Length – 87 min  (1h 27min)
Genre – Comedy

Nice to show a clock on screen during the opening credits to let people know how long they’ve been up for

Reading

Did this film just compare people heading to work like sheep being chased by farmers dogs

Back in our day, we had jigsaws and comic strips to keep us busy

Not entirely sure what Chaplin is doing

Well he is being annoying to his co-workers by accident

Why is there a shirtless guy hired to pull levers

Did he just light a cigarette with his ass

What the hell is that thing?

Wait…. That’s a phonograph?! It looks like something women dry their hair in in salons

Turns out it’s an automatic soup dispenser that comes with it’s own mirror to avoid spillage

Did he just pour his tea into Chaplin’s soup?

Doesn’t matter now as it’s all over the floor

Chaplin then gets selected to try this soup dispenser machine

So… They’ve used a screwdriver to automatically turn corn on the cob

And as expected… The machine is broken

You will eat this soup… AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!!!!

Erm… Pretty sure Chaplin wasn’t meant to eat those bolts

And back to work

15 minutes in and they’re already repeating jokes

And Chaplin has turned into a sex offender who’s obsessed with anything that rescembles a screw such as noses, buttons and fire hydrants

Is Chaplin trying to get himself fired?

He’s just blown up half the warehouse and no one seems to be bothered about it

More repeated jokes

No one can escape my oil squirting!

And Chaplin has been thrown into hospital

Wait… What we just saw was ‘A Nervous Breakdown’?!? BOLLOCKS!!! What we saw was Chaplin being a massive c*nt!

Chaplin’s been cured but he has been fired – Good!

Erm… Where did a worker’s strike come from?

And Chaplin’s been arrested for, allegedly, leading the strike

Cut to a woman angrily cutting bananas and throwing then at children

Nothing so far has made any sense

Now this woman is… deepthroating a banana – Did I really just type that?

Hello husband! We’re having bananas for dinner

Why does this music sound like a rip off of ‘The Wonderful Wizard of Oz’?

All tough men know how to sew

Someone’s been smuggling ‘nose powder’ – So that’s what they call cocaine back then?

And now Chaplin’s just poured cocaine all over his bowl of lumps

Pretty sure is someone’s spinning in circles

And Chaplin’s been locked out of his own cell

Meanwhile, two prisoners escape and lock up the police

So.. Chaplin just assaulted the prisoners and freed and the police but is still locked up – But he does have his own cell now

Meanwhile, this random woman and her kids are collecting wood

Oh no! Her husband’s been shot! I would care more is I knew who they were

So… You kids have no dad anymore, huh? Good! TO THE ORPHANAGE!!!

31 minutes in and I still have no idea what’s happening

AND I’VE STOPPED CARING after 32 minutes

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