Film 286 in the ‘1001 Films to See Before You Die’ challenge is 1968’s ‘The Color of Pomegranates’. Directed by Sergei Parajanov, this Soviet drama biopic is about Armenian musician Sayat-Nova (King of Song) that attempts to reveal the poet’s life visually and poetically rather than literally. What a load of crap. First of, there was no sign of Sayat-Nova anywhere. Unless he’s the little boy who randomly appears in every shot but this film doesn’t even bother telling me who he is. All they told me throughout the film was that we should keep books on our shelves and not use them to stop rain flooding our houses. Also, the music gave me a massive headache. At one point the music sounded like a crappy cover of ‘Insomnia’ by Faithless. Then the next song sounded like someone was playing a broken pinball machine. I managed a little over 8 minutes before I gave up. Since I found this film on YouTube, I took the liberty to look at the comments to see what other people thought of this film. João Francisco Pereira wrote, ‘Finally something new, creepy and interesting to watch when stoned’. SKAtube0 wrote, ‘I’m not even sure on what must I be on to be able to watch this movie.’ And finally AerioNauts wrote, Overrated hipster bullshit.’ Don’t bother watching this unless you are a hipster who is stoned. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I managed to say while watching 1968’s ‘The Color of Pomegranates’
Film – The Color of Pomegranates
Year – 1968
Director – Sergei Parajanov
Written by – Sergei Parajanov, Sayat-Nova
Staring – Sofiko Chiaureli, Melkon Alekyan, Vilen Galstyan
IMDb Rating – 7.7/10
My Rating – Don’t watch unless you’re stoned
Length – 76 min (1h 16min)
Genre – Biography, Drama, Music
There’s three tomatoes losing their… juices?!!?
There’s a knife bleeding
And there’s a foot squashing some grapes
They keep flashing this quote on the screen but it’s so fast I can only read the first 5 words
Looks like it’s raining
What is this music playing in the background?
Who thought books would make a good sandbag?
Well.. Better bury our child in blankets to make him sleep
There’s some men happy to that their books didn’t get soaked in the rain
What is this music? It’s giving me a headache – It sounds like the start to ‘Insomnia’ by Faithless
After being told that books are to be kept nice and tidy, a boy does his best Sly Cooper impression by climbing on top of a roof
[INSERT IMAGES OF RELIGION]
Now the music sounds like someone’s playing on a broken pinball table
Who is this kid?
What a waste of wool
Well… Better cover a live chicken in blood
AND I’M DONE