Film 282 in the ‘1001 Films to See Before You Die’ challenge is 2011’s ‘Shame’. This Steve McQueen British drama is about Brandon’s (Michael Fassbender) carefully cultivated private life — which allows him to indulge his sexual addiction — is disrupted when his sister arrives unannounced for an indefinite stay. Can you even call this a film? It’s just a porno. This film is pretty much the prequel to Fifty Shades of Grey. The only reason this film is on this list is just so people can see the size of Fassbender’s… bender?!? The book doesn’t even talk about this film! It talks more about 2008’s ‘Hunger’ which stars Fassbender and was directed by McQueen. Everyone in this film comes across as either an asshole or annoying. The later mostly concerns Sissy. Her character comes across as annoying and for all the wrong reasons. If you’re gonna do annoying characters then at least make it so they some form of redeeming value and not make the audience want to punch them. I lasted 30 minutes before I stopped caring about the film and read what happened in the rest of the film on Wikipedia. If you have seen this film then let me know what you think of it in the comments. Here is what I managed to say while watching 2011’s ‘Shame’
Film – Shame
Year – 2011
Director – Steve McQueen
Written by – Steve McQueen, Abi Morgan
Staring – Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan, James Badge
IMDb Rating – 7.3/10
My Rating – To quote Buckcherry – ‘I don’t care! Say fuck it!’
Length – 95 min (1h 35min)
Genre – Drama
We open with Brandon laying naked in bed
So… This is how people travel on the subways in New York
That’s something I didn’t need to see… but ladies if you wish to see Michael Fassbender’s penis then pause the film at about 2:17
Hello random woman, here’s some money… NOW LETS SHAG!!!
Eat, sleep, shag a random woman, repeat
And there’s more Fassbender penis…. this time peeing into a toilet
Erm… Brandon…. What are you doing in that shower?
Is this a film or a porno?
Oh, hello random woman I keep seeing on the same subway as me for the last few days
I don’t care if this woman is married I’m still gonna bang her
So.. Brandon works in an office and still needs to masturbate while at work
Ah, Bach! Good choice of music
Shout out to Brooklyn Lager…. and lesbian porn
Don’t you hate it when people call you while you watch porn
Looks like that meeting went well
David buys three women shots of tequila so he can shag them all but Brandon arrives
You wrote “Rapture” by Blondie? – BOLLOCKS! Deborah Harry & Chris Stein wrote it
Brandon then shags the woman David tried chatting up under a bridge
Who dare play Chic in my apartment?
Turns out it’s Brandon’s sister, Sissy, who had the keys who he nearly hits with a baseball bat while she’s in the shower
Has Brandon never heard of headphones?
How dare you drink orange juice from the carton
Sissy has only been on-screen for three minutes and I already hate her
They’re brother and sister? They sure don’t act like it
25 minutes in and I no longer care about the plot
Is everyone in this film a dick?
Brandon and David visit a bar where Sissy is singing…. a rendition of “New York, New York”
After reading the rest of this film on Wikipedia, I really couldn’t care about this film
AND I’VE STOPPED CARING