Annie Hall #MovieReview

Film 255 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1977’s “Annie Hall”. This Woody Allen rom-com is about Alvy “Max” Singer (Woody Allen), who tries to figure out the reasons for the failure of his relationship with Annie, (Diane Keaton in a role written specifically for her). This is my first Woody Allen film that I have ever watched and the first on this list and I already hating him. Do we really need to drag a joke on and on? Just make the joke and move on the next one. We don’t need a five minute conversation about everything. It took me one minute before I said out loud “I already hate you”. Also, at no point did they reference who is who. I had no clue who Annie was until they had wine together on a balcony. Also, the pace of this film is far too quick. One minute it’s a conversation about life then the next is about foreskins. Overall, this film has given me a massive headache and has put me off ever having lobsters. I managed 37 minutes before quitting. When this film was released in 1977, Woody Allen had this to say about the film, “There’s one clear autobiological fact in the picture: I’ve thought about sex since my first intimation of consciousness”. Fun Fact of the Film – An abandoned opening sequence featured Alvy descending into hell, where he encounters Richard Nixon. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I managed to say while watching 1977’s “Annie Hall”.

annie_hall

Film – Annie Hall
Year – 1977
Director – Woody Allen
Written by – Woody Allen, Marshall Brickman
Staring – Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Tony Roberts
IMDb Rating – 8.1/10
My Rating – FUCK THIS FILM
Length – 89 min (1h 29min)
Genre – Comedy, Drama, Romance

Nice to see the closing credits at the beginning of the film
We open with Alvy comparing jokes to women
I already hate him – SHUT UP!!
Flashback to Alvy being depressed about the universe expanding
Ok – Who lives in a house under a roller coaster
So… gym teachers aren’t real teacher
Wait.. Why is old Alvy in the same class as young Alvy?
Wait… You were a heroine addict at 8 years old?
“I’m into leather” – Someone likes bondage sex
I have no idea what Alvy is talking about
Do I really to hear every detail about his life?
Don’t point me out in public
What’s a “Brudder”?
We’re two minutes into the movie! Can’t watch it now
How dare you call Fellini boring
Now you hating on Samuel Beckett
Er… Is Alvy talking to us now
Oh… Hey McLuhan
“The Sorrow and The Pity” – A four hour documentary on Nazis – Perfect movie for a date
I have to rest my voice. So no sex
You can’t have a show with two comedians back to back
WOW! You’re boring
Wait… Alvy is a comedian – If that’s so then why aren’t I laughing
Can we not talk about conspiricy theories while having sex
Can we not talk about Groucho Marx during sex
Are they really fighting over lobsters
You don’t cook live lobsters like that do you?
This film has given me a massive headache
Why are they interjecting themselves into their lives from the past?
I’m about to do a first and break this disc in two
Who cares about a party when New York Knicks are playing
I have no idea what’s happening
How have we gone from talking about the countryside to foreskins
Wait… That woman Alvy’s been with wasn’t Annie this whole time
THIS SCRIPT IS CONFUSING TO FOLLOW
Just make your shitty joke and move on
You’re driving like a drunk driver
At least Alvy agrees with me about her driving
So… Is this Annie?
I NEED DRUGS IF I’M GOING TO CONTINUE WATCHING THIS
We get it! He’s Jewish
You’d think a conversation about photography would interest a photographer like me – It doesn’t
And my DVD decided it had enough of that scene and skipped to Annie singng at a dinner show
No. That show was shit
And the two finally shag
So… Weed is as good as sex
What’s the owner of Leeds United doing in this film?
AND I’M DONE

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