A Fish Called Wanda #MovieReview

Film 251 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die Challenge” is 1988’s “A Fish Called Wanda”. Directed by Charles Crichton (in his last film) and John Cleese, this crime comedy is about members of the crew of a successful diamond heist manipulating and double-crossing one-another in an effort to find the diamonds, which have been hidden by the gang’s leader just before he was arrested, having been set-up by one of his subordinates. Nothing like a good comedy to lighten up your day. And this film did just that. Especially Kevin Kline. Think I’ll be adding him to my list of great actors. So much goodness in this film that it’s a little hard to pick out certain scenes. One question that I would ask, being that I’m young, dumb and full of… nevermind that, did England really bring chips to the world’s cuisine? Sorry, my actual question is, what was with the accents? Was the reason to have then so Wanda could potentially shag anyone she wanted? If I have learnt anything, it’s that you should never eat another man’s fishtank full of fish. Especially with chips. Overall, this film was a lot of fun to watch and I highly recommend it. Fun Fact of the Film – The poem Archie recites in Russian to Wanda while getting naked is “Molitiva” by Russian poet Mikhail Lermontov. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1988’s “A Fish Called Wanda”

fish-called-wanda-poster

Film – A Fish Called Wanda
Year – 1988
Director – Charles Crichton & John Cleese
Written by – John Cleese
Staring – John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin
IMDb Rating – 7.6/10
My Rating – 8/10
Length – 102 min (1h 42min)
Genre – Comedy, Crime

Welcome to London
Who uses a gun to silence an alarm clock?
FISH!!!
Wanda and Otto meet with Ken
251 films later and I get my first cup of tea
We need people who are good at throwing knifes at posters of arctic animals
Who cares about the case when I need a cup of tea
Can I have a new horse? The old one’s not good enough for Tesco’s
Are they planning a bank heist
Time to rob a jewellery shop… Grand Theft Auto Online style
Forgive me I’m bored. Can I shoot an apple off your head?
You stupid bitch! Get off the road
“I love robbing the English. They’re so polite”
Rover 75 for a police car? SOLD
Wait… They aren’t brother and sister
Is Otto really Italian for eight?
Wait… They set up George! Could never trust them
Don’t hide the key in the fish food
And George has been arrested
Wait… The safe’s empty!
You think by shooting things
No hugging in prison, mam

INTERMISSION – Got to check my shifts for work

We’re back after the 16 minute mark
Now it’s become a game of who you can trust
Who asks lawyers for autographs
This is my first Kevin Kline film and I already like him
Now Ken has the fish food with the key
Wake up stupid fish
“I thought Englishmen didn’t like women”
Don’t have sex in someone else’s bed
Ken decides to hide the key in the fish tank
Who takes a poo with their trousers on
He didn’t stutter that swear word
Did Otto just offer to have sex with Ken?
So.. The loot is no longer in Fulham and George moved it
Meanwhile, the old lady from earlier gets George arrested again for nearly running over her dogs
Wanda then decides to see Archie
I never understood why judges have to wear those weird wigs
Wait… I’m a defense witness! We’re allowed to talk to our friends lawyers in the States
Meanwhile, Otto thinks he’s Bruce Lee
Who calls their daughter, Portia?
Time for two different types of sex – Bored and loving
Why would you inhale a woman’s boot
So… That’s what Kevin Kline looks like when he climaxes during sex
Time for George’s court case
Everyone’s there to watch
Fuck off, emos
£1 and I won’t kill you
Did Wanda just offer phone sex with Archie?
So… Does Ken work as an electrician or for the London Underground
Oh…. Salad and a pork pie for supper
We can talk… just not about George’s trial
Can I shag you? My wife’s old
Like Otto said “Touch his dick and he dies”
Hi honey! SHIT! YOUR HOME
So… Without America, Britain would be owned by Russia and singing German
Now the necklace with the key is now around Wendy’s neck
Time for Ken to kill an old lady with a dog
JESUS CHRIST!!! The dog just killed a dog
Wait… How did Ken gets a broken arm
So… Who am I meant to trust
Wanda then visits Archie at someone else’s apartment
14th century? How old is Archie?
I can hear through the window with my stepherscope
I apologise! How can you stop hanging me upside down out of the window in the middle of London
Take two in “Kill the old lady” – This time dressed as Bob Marley
Oh shit! There’s goes the other dog
I’m guessing the two men in the background aren’t actors and there to watch while on break
Who breaks into their own house?
Wait… Archie’s broken into his own house and faked a robbery and Otto thinks it’s an actual burgular
Did he just eat the necklace?
Now Archie has the necklace – I have the feeling he picked up the wrong one
Nope. It was the right one and the key’s still there
Let’s do it on the rug then fly away together to Iceland
The last thing I needed to see was a naked John Cleese
Archie returns home to find Otto
Just air all the dirty laundry in front of an open window that the wife has to be standing near
Take three in “kill the old lady” – This time as a sniper with one eye
Well…. That’s all the dogs dead
Wait… The shock off all her dogs dying killed her
Now we can all go to Rio
Na… I need to torture you first
What questions are these for an interrogation
“The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip”
I know what will make Ken talk! I’ll eat his fish out of the tank
Wait… He ate all the fish except Wanda
Nope! He just ate Wanda
Wait… Is Wanda trying to accuse Otto of the heist?
Shit! The wife’s here to watch this
George has snapped in court
Where the police when you need them?
And Archie just got divorced in court after the scrap
Better chat with George to see what he knows
Better find Ken…. Actually let’s take Wanda and fly to Argentina
“Nobody lies in England. Like Thatcher never lied” – Erm…
Pretty sure that’s not a safe way to drive
And Otto just stole Archie’s car and drove off with Wanda
“No hurry” – Just that my car’s been stolen and a mad man wants the diamonds I’m after
Quickly! To Heatrow
Quickly! Get through airport check-in and security and board the plane to Rio
Wait… Did she knock out Otto and lock him in a locker
Stephen Fry!
Pretty sure CCTV would see Otto with a gun
Stall long enough for Ken and his steamroller to catch up
Shit! I’m stuck in cement! And Ken has a steamroller! – Think we know where this is going
Yeah…. Otto’s dead
Ken’s lost his stutter… by killing Otto
You are joking!!! Otto’s alive!!!
17 kids!!!!
THE END


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