M*A*S*H #MovieReview

Film 249 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1970’s “M*A*S*H”. Based on Richard Hooker’s novel “MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors”, this Robert Altman comedy war drama is about a unit of medical personnel stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (MASH) during the Korean War; the subtext is about the Vietnam War. I had such high hopes going into this movie. Unfortunately, those hopes quickly went away. For a comedy, I didn’t laugh once. It was more of a drama than anything else. Don’t think it helps that prior to seeing this I had watched “Catch 22” which was released one month after this film and, to me, is a better film of the two. The pace of this film went really slow until the last 35 minutes which just flew by. One minute they’re playing golf, then they end up in Japan for reasons I didn’t catch, then they end up playing football with another base camp over money that ended up being used for poker games. All I was thinking throughout was, “can someone please explain what’s going on?” Since when did Hot Lips go from a serious woman who came to help the nurses to a stereotypical dumb blonde. Why does Boone remind me of Harry Potter? Why did we hate Frank Burns again? And why fake a death to avoid being “a fairy” just to shag some woman on your deathbed to waking up the next day like nothing ever happened? Maybe if I had watched some of the TV episodes prior to this, I might have had some information on who people are and they’re personalities. Throughout the film, I was going “no more characters”. Even towards the end of the film, they were still introducing people. Overall, I didn’t really enjoy this as much as I should have. I’d prefer “Catch 22” but that’s just me. If you have seen this film then let me know what you think of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1970’s “M*A*S*H”

mash

Film – MASH
Year – 1970
Director – Robert Altman
Written by – Ring Lardner Jr.
Based On – “MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors” by Richard Hooker
Staring – Donald Sutherland, Elliott Gould, Tom Skerritt
IMDb Rating – 7.6/10
My Rating – 4.5/10
Length – 110 min (1h 50min)
Genre – Comedy, War, Drama

We open with helicopters carrying wounded soldiers to MASH
“And Then There Was… Korea”
Reading
Don’t you hate it when the zip on your bag breaks
Don’t help the women off the back of the Jeep
Your beating up your own soldiers… Because your Jeep exploded?!
Don’t think this is how you chat to women
Is there a reason for all the whistling
You read better with Playboy magazine than with The Bible
Don’t this is how you do surgery
Who uses flour in a surgery
Heckling during a prayer?!
Better kick out the prayer but first… a 12 hour shift in surgery
There’s too many characters to pay attention to
Damn you Ho-Jon! You interrupted sex!
We have a chest cutter who doesn’t like talking
Martini’s aren’t right without an olive
Who carries a jar of olives with them?
Why is everyone watching the surgery?
We have to remove all nude pics? BOO
Painless Polish Day in the shower tent?!
Wrong way dumbasses
NO MORE CHARACTERS!!!
You’d think the guy that looks like Harry Potter would be a good surgeon
DAMN IT HARRY POTTER!!! YOU JUST KILLED A MAN!
Trapper just punched McIntyre…. just because
Who attends a football game in the middle of a war?
SHIT!!! Power outage in the surgery
So… Everyone hates Frank Burns
Also… Anyone who has a nickname in the army is hated?!
Frank is now the new chief
And someone is drunk and wants sex
Frank and the woman have written a letter about… something
So… Supper is… a snog?!?
I really am confused now
Now… We have sex… While Radar watches from outside
Better play the recording of Frank having sex to everyone over the tannoy
Who has sex with their clothes on?
Colonel returns
Meanwhile, Hawkeye asks Frank about the sex last night
Frank has been arrested for attacking Hawkeye
Yeah… He’s bleeding
Attention – Weed is bad
Hawkeye gets news about Walt about comments he made about poker
How can you be engaged to three women at once?
Walt says he couldn’t produce during sex last night
Walt also says that he’s now “a fairy” (gay)
Walt tells everyone that he’s going to commit suicide
We will kill Walt the same way Hitler killed himself
You are the worst priest ever
Are they really having a re-enactment of “The Last Supper”?
Well.. Better kill myself in my own coffin in front of everyone
Who cares about my mate killing himself when I have a woman to shag
So… Walt isn’t dead… yet
Please tell me she didn’t just shag Walt’s near dead body
Wait…. Walt is alive again
So… They pretended to kill him so he could shag a woman so he can’t be “a fairy”
Everyone decides to relax in the sun next to a crashed helicopter
Let’s find out if Hot Lips really is a blonde… by spying on her in the shower
Hot Lips demands Henry arrest everyone
Henry can’t be bothered and says Hot Lips should resign
Ho-Jon visits a Korean doctor to see if he can be a soldier
His heart beat is too fast
Golf? Why not
Trapper has been transfered to Japan and takes Hawkeye with him
Who cares about surgery when we have a golf course
Don’t think calling yourselves “Jekyll & Hyde” would be good doctors names
All this for a game of golf?!
We can’t to surgery now! We’re eating rice
Someone’s busted
Back at MASH, Hawkeye & Trapper return in golf clothes
Turns out Hot Lips is banging Duke now
The Chief arrives from Vietnam and chats with Hawkeye and co. about Hot Lips
Better bring in Spearchucker for our upcoming football game
Spearrchucker arrives in time for training
Time for football
The opposing team has a player from The Rams
Did he just take steroids in his… dick?
Nope! They just doped the pro
This just looks like a complete mess
Worst… Cheerleaders… Ever
All this for $10,000
Clearly this manager has never heard of substitutes
And now everyone’s injured
Clearly Hot Lips has never seen an NFL game
Well… That’s a clear penalty
Last play of the game…. Shove the ball up your shirt and run
MASH wins!!! 18-16!
Lets gamble our winnings in a game of poker
Duke and Hawkeye have got their orders. They can go home
You can’t Christen a Jeep!
Thanks tannoy for explaining the plot of the film to me
THE END

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