Batman (1989) #MovieReview

Film 244 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1989’s “Batman”. This Tim Burton action film sees Batman (Michael Keaton) dealing with the rise of a costumed criminal known as “The Joker” (Jack Nicholson). I don’t know if it’s a generation thing but there was something about this film that I wasn’t buying into. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve grown up with Christian Bale & George Clooney as Batman that I’m not use to Michael Keaton in that role. Or that Kim Basinger seems to have more screen time than anyone in this film. Or is it because I had already watched “The Dark Knight” for this challenge and think nothing could top it. Don’t get me wrong, I still found myself enjoying this but not as much as I had hoped. I thought Jack Nicholson was great as The Joker. Question of the film #1 – Which Joker is better; Nicholson or Ledger? Question of the film #2 – Who’s the best Batman? Let me know your answers to those plus your thoughts about this film in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1989’s “Batman”

Batman_1989_-_Poster_fan_art

Film – Batman
Year – 1989
Director – Tim Burton
Written by – Sam Hamm, Warren Skaaren
Staring – Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger
IMDb Rating – 7.6/10
My Rating – 6.7/10
Length – 120 min
Genre – Action

Is it me or that text looks a little green/lime?
Songs by Prince? – SOLD!!!
Welcome to Gotham City
Don’t you hate it when you can’t hail a cab at night?
Did that prostitute flirt with an 8 year old?
That’ll teach them to wander down dark alleys at night
And Batman’s dead… or is he?
That suit is missing Bat-Nipples! – Sorry, wrong film
“I’m Batman”
Meanwhile, at a conference Harvey Dent is giving a speech
Wait… Joker has no face-paint
And his suit is blue!!
Is he comparing Batman to a vampire?
Who hides $1000 in a sandwich?

INTERMISSION – Dinner Break – Need to time these better

We’re back and a fat man is being confronted by Joker
Meanwhile, Knox meets with Nikki who also believes in Batman
So…. He just backstabbed his own mate?!
What is with all the old men staring at her creepily?
No one talk to the reporter
This is a very odd collection
Oh… Hi Bruce Wayne
Who’s side is Knox on?
Who has a giant mirror…. Oh, that explains everything
Meanwhile, the police knox about the chemical plant and the whereabouts of Joker
Yep… He’s dead
Someone seems to be confused
And Eckhardt’s dead
Well… That explains how Joker’s face got messed up
That suit looks very rubbery
So… They’re on a date but are sat 100ft away from each other at dinner?!
Screw the soup… Let’s have wine, fish & chips at Alfreds
Also… For a wealthy reporter she drives a Ford Cortina
You’re taking too long to take these bandages off
Joker pays a visit to the guy who set him up and kills him
3am.. Better hang upside down for a few hours like a bat
Now for a meeting held by Joker
So… Did Joker set up a meeting to have everyone arrested
Meanwhile, Knox and Vikki don’t seem to be getting along
Wait… Who’s side is she on?
Now to stalk Bruce who is planting roses outside a run down hotel
What’s with all the mimes
Joker then kills Mr Grissom with a pen to the throat
I feel slighty confused
Think Joker’s found love at first sight
Doc Brown? What are you doing in the chemical plant?
Erm…. Something’s not right with the female reporter
How did Joker hack the TV station broadcast?
This is the best commercial ever
Nice use of the spinning newspaper transition
Think that blackhead needs popping, fella
Nice ode to “Eyes Without a Face”
So… Joker’s painted himself as Bruce Wayne to date Vikki
So… We’re vandalising paintings while dancing to 80’s pop
Not one of Prince’s good songs
I’m half expecting “Purple Rain” or “When Doves Cry” to start playing
He’s right… All those photos are crap
Wait… What happened to Alicia’s face
Hi Batman… Bye Batman
Pretty sure that car isn’t road legal
You just ruined a large amount of cabbages
And that is why you never use flash photography at night
Better show her by Bat Cave and hope nothing bad happens to expose who I am
Nice to know Batman has mouthwash on his desk… Just incase
You’ve got to stop destroying TV’s for the fun of it
Since when did she get a braid in her hair?
Resist… Urge.. to tell… The Truth
Hello Joker
So… Alicia is now dead
Better play mind games with Joker

Quick ad break – Just heard Liverpool sacked their manager

We’re back with less than 40 minutes to go
Well… That mind game tactic didn’t work
What apartment complex hangs paintings of nude women outside people’s apartments?
Damn… He used my good tray
Vikki then gets news about Bruce thanks to Knox
Who cares about the news when we have a public service announcement from Joker from his home?
Joker’s gonna dump $20 million in the city and challenges Batman to a fight
Think we’ve found the main event for WrestleMania 32…. Oh wait! That’s already sorted! It’s The Rock vs Triple H (allegedly)
Flashback to the night Bruce Wayne’s parents were killed
“I don’t know what to think of all this” – I agree
This film is starting to drag
Well… Better show Vikki who I really am.. Oh wait… She’s fucked off
Batman decides to drive to the chemical plant and blow it up
If the Mayor won’t hold the festival, Joker will
Quick question – Where did Joker get all this money from?
Yet another bad song by Prince
Wait… Since when did Batman have a plane
Better kill everyone in Gotham with laughing gas
Is it me or that suit makes Keaton’s face look really fat?
Ok… Who throws out bags of feathers in the trash
It was nice knowing you Bob
Wow… Batman is a terrible shot
And because of that… he got shot out of the sky and crashed
Nice to know Batman like a game of dominos while at church
We’re blocked in! Let’s just call it a night
HOW DARE YOU DANCE WITH MY WOMAN!!!!
And Batman is getting his assed kicked
And then there were two – Batman vs Joker – Winner gets Vikki
Looks like Joker’s won… Or not
Think Knox just got screwed out of an award
Better show off our new bat signal to everyone
That’s Gotham City protected for another day
THE END

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