Bride of Frankenstein #MovieReview

Film 242 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1935’s “Bride of Frankenstein”. Based on Mary Shelley’s novel “Frankenstein”, this James Whale horror film follows on from 1931’s “Frankenstein”, a film I have reviewed for this challenge, is about Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive) who abandons his plans to create life, only to be tempted and finally coerced by the Monster (Boris Karloff), encouraged by Henry’s old mentor Dr. Pretorius (Ernest Thesiger), into constructing a mate for him (Elsa Lancaster). So… The film is called “Bride of Frankenstein”, but she’s only in the film for roughly 2/3 minutes. Hell, it took them almost the entire film for them to even start creating her. The majority of the screen time was taken up by Minnie with The Monster close behind. Yes, an old housekeeper who seems to know a lot about everyone in the village and who knows more about how to deal with The Monster than The Mayor gets more screen time than anyone. I’m half tempted to call this “Frankenstein 2: Minnie’s Story”. This film was just one bizarre thing after another. Too much that it makes my head hurt thinking about them. For a horror film, there wasn’t anything scary in it. It felt like more of a sci-fi film than anything else. Overall, I kinda recommend watching this if you want to add your own dialogue to this. Apart from that, not the type of film to watch for Halloween. Fun Fact of the Film – To play the role of The Bride, the 5’4″ Elsa Lancaster had to wear stilts to boost her height to over 7 feet. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1935’s “Bride of Frankenstein”

Film – Bride of Frankenstein
Year – 1935
Director – James Whale
Written by – William Hurlbut, John L. Balderston
Based On – “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley
Staring – Boris Karloff, Elsa Lanchester, Colin Clive
IMDb Rating – 7.9/10
My Rating –
Length – 75 min (1h 15min)
Genre – Horror, Sci-Fi

We open with Lord Byron, Shelley & Mary talking around a fireplace
Why is he walking around like he’s just crapped his pants?
Why does Lord Byron remind me or Eric Idle?
Flashback to Dr Frankenstein making his monster
An old woman is crying because she just saw The Monster burned alive
That man has a massive moustache
This is the world’s worst Sherlock Holmes
Burger Master? So he’s responsible for The Whopper
A blind man wanders into the windmill reckage
WTF???!?!?! The Monster’s survived the fire!!!
That is the most bizarre way to react to seeing The Monster
Better take Henry’s somewhat dead body to Elizabeth
The old woman tells everyone and they don’t believe her
And Henry’s alive!
Wait… This all took place on their wedding night?!?!
Henry seems to be happy about creating Frankenstein while his wife thinks he’s talking out of his ass
Now the wife is seeing things
Who is this old woman? She seems to be everywhere
Dr Pretorius arrives
17 minutes and I now know the old woman’s name – It’s Minnie
“Won’t you come in?” – Thought he was already inside the house
How can a professor be booted out of university for “knowing too much?”
Dr Pretorius tells Henry to work together again
Henry agrees and the two head to Dr Pretorius’s place to begin work
“Gin is my only weakness” – Yet I still keep drinking it
Dr Pretorius shows his experiments – Human in a bottle – His guy predicted Futurama
Shit! The King’s escaped his bottle
He’s made The Little Mermaid before Disney did
Dr Pretorius proposes that they make a female monster for The Monster
Meanwhile, The Monster is wondering through the forest
It’s Mary! And she has a little lamb
Two troopers arrive and shoot and chase The Monster
You believe a trooper but not a old woman – Sexist
Excuse me while I play “The Trooper” by Iron Maiden during this chase scene
The entire town has found The Monster and tie him to a crucifix
They now tied The Monster to a chair in chains
Fuck off Minnie
Well… That worked didn’t it! The Monster’s loose! Better shoot it
How does Minnie seem to know everything in this town better than The Mayor
Meanwwhile a family of gypsies find Frankenstein in the forest
All I wanted was the chicken on the fire
Who knew The Monster can be stealthy?
Looks like The Monster has found a friend in a blind violinist
38 minutes into this film and we have yet to see The Bride
That and we’ve barely seen Henry & Dr Pretorius for more than 5 minutes in total
He devoured that bread and soup
Wait.. Did The Monster just shed a tear?
Time for English class – Bread and Wine
Now to teach The Monster to smoke cigars
He puffs like a chimney
Play the violin Blind Man while I sit and watch
Two troopers arrive to spoil the fun and in the process burn Blind Man’s house down
The Monster runs away into a cemetary and knocks a tree down in anger
Fuck your grave! It’s mine now for a few minutes
Dr Pretorius is in the cemetary looking for a female body to experiment on
A 19 year old! Seems a bit young but it is legal age
Time to celebrate with some wine
Is he… on a date with a skull?
“Gin and cigars are my only weakness” – Yet I enjoy them so much
The Monster likes the idea of having a female friend
How does The Monster know about being created?
Dr Pretorius finds Henry who is now married
Dr Pretorius shows Henry The Monster to convince him to make his wife
Well… That didn’t work! Better scare the shit out of the wife and Minnie
What house has a walk-in window?
Minnie’s had more screen time than anyone else
The deal is – Henry must work with Dr Pretorius and make The Bride and in return Henry gets his wife back
10 minutes left in the film and we finally see the creation of The Bride
We need a new heart – Better murder a helpless victim
Work you lazy bastard
I am now bored to the point where I’m playing Candy Crush – KILL ME
Wait.. They’ve been watching a heart beat for 9 hours
Now we can officially start the experiment
You’d think they would have made improvements with the equipment from last time
The Monster decides to kill one of the helpers… Just because
The Bride is alive!!
This is my wife… You couldn’t got me a better looking woman – The Monster
“She hate me” – Cue Puddle of Mudd
Well… Better force myself on her while killing my creator
The Monster lets Henry leave with Elizabeth while killing himself, The Bride and Dr Pretorius
THE END

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