Andy Warhol’s “Vinyl” #MovieReview

Film 182 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1965’s “Vinyl”. This Andy Warhol film is about… That’s the thing, I don’t actually know! It’s listed as a sci-fi movie on IMDb but there isn’t anything that resembles sci-fi in the film. Why is this film on this list? I don’t know but what I can tell you is that NOTHING HAPPENS IN THE ENTIRE FILM!!! There’s one woman who just sits on a suitcase smoking cigarettes and doesn’t do anything! What’s the point in having her on screen? Also, out of everyone in the film, only one person has a name. That person is called “Scum” and I couldn’t make out who he was because the picture quality is absolute garbage. You cannot see a thing apart from skin, a white t-shirt and bits of newspaper that were torn apart for no reason apart from the fact that the main character, who looks a lot like Green Day lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong, says “it’s uncommon for people to read”. What the fuck does that mean? Also, we’re in a prison? Why? There is nothing in this film that tells you were in a prison. If we are in a prison, then how the hell is a woman with a suitcase and the paper boy get in? Also, they decide to punish “Billie” (that’s what I called him) for being there I assume by dancing around him to The Isley Brothers before making him wear a gimp suit. I have pretty much explained the entire film in a nutshell. It may only be a little over an hour long but I just spared you that hour with this. You can thank me later! Overall, this is a massive sack of crap that I cannot recommend sober, drunk or high on any/all drugs. This film is so bad there isn’t a poster for it and I can’t use an image from the film because they all look terrible. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1965’s “Vinyl”. I need a drink…

Film – Vinyl

Year – 1965

Director – Andy Warhol

Written by – Ronald Tavel

Staring – Tosh Carillo, Larry Latrae, Gerard Malanga

IMDb Rating – 5

My Rating – Who do I see about getting the last hour of my life back?

Length – 63 min (1h 3min)

Genre – Sci-Fi

Billie Joe Armstrong? What are you doing here?

I don’t know his name but he is lifting weights as a couple watch him and another man rubs his hand across his junk

Is something suppose to be happening?

Also, who works out in a leather jacket?

Why is scene still going on?

There’s seven people in one room and no ones doing anything

“It is uncommon for someone to read”

Lets kill time by destroying newspapers and magazines

Fast forward and the newspaper boy is being tied up and hung by hooks

What is the point of the couple? They’ve done nothing but look around and look bored

Fast forward again and the couple finally do something! The dad swings in his chair as the mother dances to Martha and the Vandellas’ “Nowhere to Run”

This is dancing?

Fast forward again and there a FIGHT!!!!

And “Billie” just got his ass kicked

Wait… The dad is a undercover cop?!?

Wake up? He just had his head slammed against the floor

He was watching this for 20 minutes and did nothing until Scum and “Billie” brawled

Wait… We’re in prison? I can’t tell because THE FUCKING VIDEO QUALITY IS SHIT!!!!!

Fast forward six minutes and “Billie” is reading while three men in the background shave each other and strip

Now Scum and “Billie” are tied up and are being slapped around

This woman hasn’t done a thing throughout the entire film! Why is she even here?

Fast forward and “Billie” is now shirtless and tied to a chair

Let’s torture “Billie” by pouring hot candle wax on his chest and face

Fast forward to 48 minutes and “Billie” is now dressed as a gimp

49 minutes and we’ve finally changed camera angles!!!

Why is “Shout” by The Isley Brothers playing?

Fast forward to 57 minutes and everyone is dancing

THE END

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