Battleship Potemkin #MovieReview

Film 159 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1925’s “Battleship Potemkin”. Or to give it it’s Russian title “Bronenosets Potyomkin”. This Sergei M. Eisenstein silent history drama is a dramatized version of the mutiny that occurred in 1905 when the crew of the Russian battleship Potemkin rebelled against their officers of the Tsarist regime. This film made no sense. Why are all the sailors rebelling against the leaders over food? Who agreed on who would lead the attack on all the generals? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? The question I kept asking herself that constantly, but the film refused to answer that question. I started to loose my focus and I really lost it when the leader of the sailors survived getting shot in the head to see him a few seconds after jumping around like nothing ever happened. This was just a unwatchable mess and I don’t recommend it. In 2011, Philip French from The Observer had this to say about the film, “Its virtuoso technique remains dazzling and is at the service of a revolutionary fervour we can still experience.” Fun Fact of the Film – This film was banned in the UK until 1954 for “Bolshevik propaganda” and “incitement to class hatred”. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1925’s “Battleship Potemkin”

Film – Battleship Potemkin (Bronenosets Potemkin)
Year – 1925
Director – Sergei M. Eisenstein
Written by – Nina Agadzhanova, Nikolai Aseyev, Sergei M Eisenstein, Sergei Tretyakov
Staring – Aleksandr Antonov, Vladimir Barsky, Grigori Aleksandrov
IMDb Rating – 8/10
My Rating – An Unwatchable Mess
Length- 73 min  (1h 13min)
Genre – Drama, History
Layout 1
Part 1 – “The Men and The Maggots”
That doesn’t look like safe to go surfing on
Reading a quote from Lenin
Two sailors chat about staying together
Are hammocks comfy to sleep in?
A clumsy sailor wakes up another sailor by whacking him in the back with a key
Everyone sees one sailor giving a pep talk about attacking
Everyone to the deck for a meeting
Everyone’s not happy about eating rotten meat
“It’s not fit for pigs”
Better inspect the meat
That meat has maggots in it
Why do all sailors have mustaches?
The General and his mate tell them to eat it because they won’t have anything else to eat
The Senior Officer is here and he’s angry
May as well keep this piece of meat to myself and chop it with an axe
That axe can’t cut the meat!!!
Time to clean everything for inspection
The clumsy sailor watches on
Meanwhile, some sailors hatch a plan while sat on some missiles
The General is downstairs and tells everyone to leave
At the store everyone stocks up on tinned food
They’re refusing to eat the soup – I don’t see any soup
Better confront the chef about the soup
As punishment for refusing to eat… All of you must do the washing up
“Give us this day our daily bread”
ALL HANDS ON DECK!!!!!
The Captain is here to address everyone
All I’m getting out of this is that the sailors are rebelling about the food
The Captain orders those who like soup to step forward
Did I just see ghosts in the sky?
Let’s make the fat one go up to the crow’s nest
“To the turret”
Now is the time to take action
It’s nice that his film tells me what’s happening
How dare you rebel against us!
And you can’t escape through my hatch
Lets punish them by covering them in a tarp
NOT THE TARP!!!
That tarp must be deadly as none of them who were punished are moving
Someone with a blurred face arrives who thinks he’s God
Those who were covered in the tarp were almsot killed but one sailor rebels makes them not shoot
FIGHT!!!
Excuse me while I escape in my hatch
Those punches are even getting anyone
“God” stops the leader of the sailors for some reason
And “God” is dead
Your gun is no match for my muscles
MAN OVERBOARD!
There goes another
“God” is still alive! He’s decided to take a nap on the stairs
And there goes another one
The sailors have won!
One of the leaders is still on the ship and just shot the leader of the sailers in the back of the head
How the hell did he survive that?
Better save our leader before he falls into the sea
They saved him! But he’s bleeding everywhere
This film makes no sense anymore
I QUIT
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s