Pretty Woman #MovieReview

Film 152 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1990’s “Pretty Woman”. This romantic comedy is about a busy businessman who hires a prostitute to be his escort for several business and social functions, and their developing relationship over the course of her week-long stay with him. Unfortunately, due to my work schedule being rougher than sandpaper and as I’m still recovering from my trip to Birmingham the day before I had to call it quits on this film. This film was all right. It wasn’t good but it wasn’t bad. This is one of many films in the list that I wasn’t too keen on wanting to watch when I found out it made the list. I don’t know why it made it on the list to be honest. Was it because Julia Roberts won best actress at the 63rd Academy Awards? I can’t think of any other reason. Nothing else really stuck out. Did I miss something? If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching an hour of 1990’s “Pretty Woman”. Now excuse me while I catch some sleep… and listen to some Prince!

Film – Pretty Woman
Year – 1990
Director – Garry Marshall
Written by – J.F. Lawton
Staring – Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Jason Alexander
IMDb Rating – 6.9/10
My Rating – Quit to listen to Prince and sleep
Length – 115 min (1h 55min)
Genre – Comedy, Romance
Thank you BBC3 for showing this so I don’t have to buy it
Time for a magic trick
Is that the guy from Seinfeld
Sounds like Edward’s wife isn’t happy
Who cares about this party? I’m off to see New York Mets
I’m taking your Lotus Esprit
Welcome to Hollywood… Where it’s easy to get lost
Is that fog in Los Angeles?
Maps, drugs & prostitues… That’s L.A. for you
Always use sharpie to cover up boot scuffs
Who needs doors when you can exit via the fire exit
Who lets tourists take photos of crime scenes?
We need rent money more than we need drugs
What nightclub has a fruit buffet?
Is that David Bowie’s “Fame” playing in the background?
Prostitutes have their own turfs?!?
$5 for directions!
Edwards has just picked up Vivian for “directions”
Is this Pretty Woman or Top Gear?
It’s clutch down then change gear then lift off the clutch
Now it’s time for Vivian to drive
This still feels like an episode of Top Gear
$100 for an hour to have sex!
That’s my dick! Not the gear stick
I think Edward has just bought Vivian’s services
Are they staying at a Hilton?
What elevator has a sofa?
Keep your eyes off my woman!
Don’t you hate it when your hotel card key doesn’t work
Your afraid of heights but you rented a penthouse on the top floor?!?
Pick your condom! Any condom! Red! Green! Gold!
Edward clearly doesn’t want to have sex with Vivian
Room service!!!
Always forget about the tip
You have a wife and a girlfriend?!? He’s a bigamist!!!
She just downed that champagne in one!
Why did he order champagne if he doesn’t drink
$300 for the night! Done!
I nearly threw my date out of my room for having dental floss
I’ve watched 25 minutes already!!!
You watch this comedy while I do some account work
Nothing like a carpet picnic while watching TV
These grapes are colder than they look
I will grab your dick my crawling up your trousers
Lets just put the TV on mute while we get it on
And I’m guessing they just had sex
Wait… Vivian had a wig on the entire time!
I ordered everything!
I have four other chairs but you choose to sit on the table
$1 billion to takeover a business!
Why buy companies if your doing to sell them in parts?
Nothing like singing in the bathtub
Out of all the songs to sing Vivian chooses “Kiss” by Prince
Edward decides to hire Vivian for the week
$3000 for a week!
Why celebrate by trying to drown yourself in a bathtub?
Better ring my friend to tell her everything
Nothing like waking up to last night’s pizza and a 7-Up Big Gulp?
Better shop for clothes on Rodeo Drive
Is that a gold edition of Monopoly?
Time to stereotype poor people
You don’t want my money? Have fun going out of business soon
Vivian is dragged into a meeting with the owner
I’m related to Edward! He’s my uncle
The owner decides to help Vivian with getting her some clothes
Meanwhile at Edward’s meeting
The Navy is about to spend $350 million on something that ruins all their plans
Meanwhile, Vivian finds herself a Gucci cocktail dress
Now to learn about dinner etiquette before going for dinner
I can’t find my date!
Time for dinner! Cucumber sandwiches
Fuck it! Eat with your hands!
Time for snails!
Ice cream!!! Mint flavoured!
Looks like their dinner meeting ended poorly
But at least their dinner date went well
“When I’m with a guy, I’m like a robot”
Excuse me, I have to listen to some Prince records… and I’m tired!!!!!

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