The Black Cat #MovieReview

Film 119 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1934’s “The Black Cat”. This film is based on Edgar Allan Poe’s story, only in concept. I really couldn’t get into the film. Everyone looked scary. Bela Lugosi looked like a vampire and Boris Karloff, or as he’s credited KARLOFF, looked like a cheap imitation of Frankenstein. I really couldn’t care about the plot or why Karloff kept Bela’s wife locked in a glass case. All I got out of the film was that Bela Lugosi has a fear of cats that are black and kills them as soon as he sees them. I spent more time looking at football results rather than trying to get interested in the film. It didn’t help that because it’s filmed in the 1930’s that I really couldn’t see anything. Nothing else left to say about this…. So…. If you have seen this film then let me know what you think of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1934’s “The Black Cat”

Film – The Black Cat

Year – 1934

Director – Edgar G. Ulmer

Written by – Peter Ruric

Staring – Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, David Manners

IMDb Rating – 7.2/10

My Rating – ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Length – 65 min

Genre – Horror, Crime, Adventure

So… Boris Karloff only went by KARLOFF back then

We open in a busy train station – Let’s assume it’s King’s Cross or Clapham Junction

We’ll leave you two alone in your own cabin on the train

“Who ever eats at a wedding?”

Bela Lugosi looks like a vampire

Great! We have to share our cabin with this stranger

That suitcase nearly fell on us!

6 minutes in and no cats have appeared on screen

How did it suddenly start raining

Hmm… they are asleep! Better stroke her hair!

Damn! I’ve been spotted! Better make up an excuse that I haven’t been in a relationship in 18 years

So… Are we in Hungary?

Our bus has no windows or doors! We’ll be protected from the rain with these sheets

Your story is so boring I fell asleep!

Did they just crash into a tree?

The driver is dead! The woman is wounded but the gents are alright

We’ll keep her dry by covering her in a drench coat

Still no cats as we reach the 10 minute mark

So… everyone washed their hands in fish tanks?

What did he just inject her with?

KARLOFF is also a scary looking man

He also looks like the type of person who hates being interupted in the middle of the night

Just looked up football results! Manchester City are looking to Middlesbrough and Chelsea are level with Bradford City

Meanwhile, back to the film, Bela and KARLOFF have a chat about Bela’s wife and daughter

Gimme a whiskey!!!!!

This film is making me sleepy

Now we see a cat on screen after 18 minutes and it’s instantly killed by Bela who has a fear of cats

Nice to see the wife is awake

Why does she have a giant plaster on her chest?

We get a KISS ME BITCH but the camera blurred the shot! Bastard

We better escape! But first, lets get a good nights sleep

Let’s blame the narcotics I injected her with for her weird behaviour

Don’t mention the cat!

“The black cat is the living enbodyment of evil”

“The black cat is deathless” – That explains why it has nine lives?

Shall we swap rooms so you can be closer to your wife

Good thing each room has these sliding doors otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation

Holy crap! Bradford are beating Chelsea!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to the film

KARLOFF has (I think) Bela’s wife and daughter locked in glass cases

Oh and the black cat is back

It’s 4:52am and KARLOFF gives the husband a wake-up call

Swerve! I’m in this room

KARLOFF is allowing Bela to see his wife and daughter

“Next time I’m going to Niagara Falls”

Who the heck was that guy?

I sense that this could be a trap

Here is where we use to keep all our guns! We now keep giant charts in here

By the way… Your wife is here as well

She’s been dead for two years!

This is starting to drag!

And I’m gone

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

By the way – Bradford City have beaten Chelsea

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