Zero for Conduct #MovieReview

Film 97 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” is 1933’s “Zero for Conduct”. Or as it’s known in France “Zéro de conduite”. Subtitled as “Young Devils in College” (despite not being in college) this Jean Vigo short film is 41 minutes long and looks at four schoolboys who are in boarding school who team up to take over the school. And this was rubbish! I had no idea what was happening throughout the film, I couldn’t see anything because the film was so dark and they pretty much made fun of blind people. Nothing was explained throughout the film. Why were the kids rebelling? Why is that teacher doing Charlie Chaplin impressions? Why is that teacher flirting with these kids? I couldn’t get into the film at all. This film would be loosely remade in the 1968 film “If…” I wouldn’t recommend this unless you’re full of rage and want to spend 41 minutes shouting at the TV screen for how bad this is. I can’t really say anything else about this film. If you have seen this film then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1933’s “Zero for Conduct”.

Film – Zero for Conduct
Year – 1933
Director – Jean Vigo
Staring – Jean Daste, Robert le Flon, Louis Lefebvre
IMDb Rating – 7.5/10
My Rating – 1/10
Length – 41 min
Genre – Short, Comedy, Drama
Someone shut those kids up
Music starts playing as they show the musician’s credit
Why did I have to share my seat with this old man?
Fancy a game of “Catch the Ball in a Cup?”
Na, I have a mini trumpet that I can play with my nose
Haha, balloons can be boobs
Excuse me while I shove these feathers up my ass
Aren’t they a little young to be smoking cigars?
We’ve killed the sleeping man with our cigar smoke!
I can’t see anything it’s so dark
Just a man carrying a chair as a ladder
I’m gonna sit here and watch you all sleep
I still can’t see anything
Why are they just standing outside the head master’s bedroom?
Also, why is the head master sharing a room with school children?
Don’t walk into the light!
Get out of bed you lazy bastards
I wish I knew what was happening
They got detention for being asleep?!! WTF?
Time for us to plan our attack
Who let a blind man in charge in kids in a playground
Shall we share a cigarette together in the toilets?
Now the blind man thinks he’s Chaplin
That teacher is stealing everyone’s lunch money
Again, I wish I knew what was happening
You’re all banned from using glue until I find out who stole my chocolates
Why is he teaching kids to walk on their hands?
Who has detentions on a Sunday?
What the hell! I go away for a minute and there’s a man with a massive beard on my screen
SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT’S HAPPENING?!?!?!
Time to watch our teacher chat up a woman
Run away from this crazy man and his kids
Why is a priest a policeman?
I still have no idea what’s happening
Time for me to fast forward a little
I’ve fast forwarded to a fat man undressing in front of a skeleton
Is this detention or another lesson?
That’s a boy! He looks a lot like a girl
Did that fat teacher just chat up a young boy?!?
Now I’ve fast forwarded to kids destroying their beds and strapping the teacher to his bed
We’ll be leaving now!
Let’s rebel by throwing everything we have at the governer
That teacher with the cane was helping the kids all along?!?!
THE END
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