Film 85 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1967’s “Report”. This short film is a little over 13 minutes long and is meant to document the events that took place when John F Kennedy was assassinated. However, for whatever reason, the film decides to not show any picture for a good two minutes of the film. All you hear is a police report. Then it starts flashing random images on the screen from a bull being killed in a bull fighting ring, an advert for food waste dispensers, a random woman working in a call centre and even footage of the 1945 Hiroshima Bombings. And speaking of flashing, during that two minutes of no picture the film decides to flicker between black and white at a ridiculous pace. If you have epilepsy then don’t watch this. I don’t have it and my eyes have only just adjusted themselves to seeing properly. This was nothing but an unwatchable mess. I’m glad it was short because if this went any longer, I would be phoning up my opticians for a new pair of glasses ASAP. By the way, the image below doesn’t appear at all in the movie. There’s not even a poster for this. Nor is there a trailer! I managed to find the full film on Vimeo! If you have seen this, or was alive when the JFK assassination took place, then let me know your thoughts in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1967’s “Report”.
Film – Report
Year – 1967
Director – Bruce Conner
IMDb Rating – 6.7/10
My Rating – UNWATCHABLE
Length – 13 min
Genre – Short
This is clearly taken from TV/News program
Now the film’s gone blank
All I’m hearing is a police report
“The President has been shot”
“Something’s terribly wrong” – There is! There’s no picture
Not really a film this! More like a soundtrack
This flickering really isn’t helping my eyes
Now it’s gone black!
All I can hear still is the police report
Now the pictures returned with the same shot of someone carrying a sniper rifle
Now I’m watching the same shot from the begining of the film on a loop
Time for a phone interview with a spectator
Looks for a man wearing Levi’s in the book depository
“The President of The United States is dead!”
So many loops in this film
All I’m watching is a countdown from 10 to 3
Now the sounds gone and all I have is this countdown
Now we’re at a bull fighting ring
And we’re also with John F Kennedy visiting The Pope
Now this has become an advert for a food waste machine
My eyes have gone funny
Why were we shown the Hiroshima Bombing
What does a light bulb being smashed have anything to do with this
What the fuck is going on?
I’m now watching a bull being killed
Now we’re in the middle of a war
New I’m watching the funeral parade of John F Kennedy
Why are we shown a bubble popping in slow motion?
This is a complete mess
Why am I in a call centre?