Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark #MovieReview

Film 76 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1981’s “Indiana Jones and The Raiders Of The Lost Ark”. After watching a shitty horror film, “The Blair Witch Project”,  and a meh film from the 1930’s, “I’m a Fugitive in a Chain Gang”, I needed a film that would cheer me up. Thanks to some motherly advice (my mum picked this film) I got this. And this really did the trick. I really enjoyed this. And also, this was my first ever Indiana Jones film. Going into this, all I knew was the theme songs and whatever I could remember from playing the LEGO Indiana Jones video game. They are so many things that everyone remembers fondly from this film. From the iconic theme song to Indy’s fear of snakes. To Herr Mac’s face melting away at the end of the film to the “don’t bring a sword to a gunfight” moment. Even the opening scenes when gets the golden idol and has to run away from the boulder. One thing I will question is this, Sallah is meant to me an Egyptian, so why does he sound like a Welsh accent? Well I later found out that it’s because the actor playing Sallah, John Rhys-Davis, is Welsh and would later go on to play Gimli in The Lord of the Rings films. Everyone is aware by now of the three sequels that followed this, “The Temple of Doom”, “The Last Crusade” and the one that no one talks about, “The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” Indy’s hat, from a shop in London’s Saville Row, had to be twisted and sat on to make to look like it had been warned. Out of all four, which one is your favourite? Let me know in the comments. Also, if you have seen this film, then let me know what you thought of it in the comments as well. Here is what I had to say while watching 1981’s “Indiana Jones and The Raiders Of The Lost Ark”.

Film – Indiana Jones and The Raiders Of The Lost Ark
Year – 1981
Director – Steven Spielberg
Staring – Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman
IMDb Rating – 8.6/10
My Rating – 8.5/10
Length – 110 min (1h 50min)
Genre – Action, Adventure
Wow! The THX logo is loud!
We’re in a jungle
Better leave my ass tied to a tree
The Hovitos are watching you with their poisoned arrows
That map looks a little warn
That’ll teach him for trying to backstab Indy
That is a big spider web
He has a lot of spiders on him
“Stay out of the light”
So that’s where Forrestal has been all this time
They’ve found the golden monkey
Damn pressure plates shooting their arrows at me
I wonder how much that monkey will go for on Cash4Gold
Time to replace this with the bag of sand
Damn it! My best friend betrayed me and stole the monkey idol
Well he died quickly!
Shit! It’s the boulder!
Shit! I’m surrounded by Hovitos and Belloq
Run Indy Run
“Jock! Start the engines”
They have terrible aim
Indy makes it to the plane just in time
They’re a snake in the plane
“I hate snakes”
Back to my day job as an archiology teacher
Who writes love letters on their eyelids?
Indy wants a ticket to where Belloq lives to get the idol back
Hitler likes archilogical figures?
The Nazis have discovered Tanis
I’m getting a rather good history lesson from this conversation
Who padlocks a book?
Marcus tells Indy that he has to get The Ark of the Convert
Now’s not the time to think about Marion?
Just realised that Indy doesn’t have a TV in his living room
Indy boards a boat plane and heads to Nepal
Are the locals playing a drinking game seeing who can drink the most shots?
Bars closed but not for Marion & Indy
I’m surprised that she can stand and throw a punch after 10 shots
Marion tells Indy that Abner is dead
Since the bars closed, I may as well drink all the free booze
Here’s $5000 to help you out
She has the thing Indy’s looking for as a necklace
Herr Mac arrive and try bargaining for it
Time to brand her to make her talk
Indy to the rescue
We got us a gunfight in a bar
He’s on fire… and has been shot in the head
Herr Mac has the pendant
Well he did before he burned his hand on it
Marion gets the pendant back and the two fly to Cairo
Cairo looks nice
Sallah and Indy have a chat about The Nazis discovery of Tanis
He then tells Indy that Tanis shouldn’t be disturbed if they discover it
The monkey runs off to tell The Nazis about what he heard between Indy and Sallah
Well these guards are useless
Not the fruit stand!
Hide in this hay like they do in Asssassin’s Creed
Pan vs Knife! Pan wins
That monkey is smart
Rule #1 – Never bring a sword to a gunfight
Marion has been captured in a wicker basket
Let’s hide her in the back of this truck full of explosives
It explodes and Marion is dead
Indy meets with Belloq who’s smoking a shisah
Here come Sallah’s kids to save the day
The monkey boss just drugged the dates
Why does Sallah sound like a Brit if he’s from Egypt?
Who brought the fortune teller to the party
He tells Indy that he needs a 72 inch staff
“I am the monarch of the sea”
The monkey is out thanks to the dates
At the German archilogical site
Indy and Sallah blend in to find a hole that they both climb into
Who leaves a model of the city buried in the sand
Sallah has been arrested for trespassing
Indy places this staff into the hole and the light shines on the model city
Wait!!! Marion survived the explosion!!!!
He leaves her behind to continue his research
Herr Mac has arrived with the mark of the pendant on his hand
Indy and his men have found the entrance to the city hidden in the sand
The floor is covered in snakes
“Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?”
Belloq unties Marion and feeds her
He then proposes marriage to her with a dress
Don’t talk with your mouth full
She wears the dress and hides his knife
Hi snake! Please don’t bite me
I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes in thi motherfucking pit
Time to light the snakes on fire
Time to play that Nepal drinking game with Belloq
Indy and Sallah have found the tomb
I think someone’s a little drink
Herr Mac has found her
Those nunchucks turned into a coat hanger!
Indy and Sallah have opened the tomb to find the golden thing they were looking for
Belloq and Herr Mac have spotted the hole where Indy has been
Herr Macc throws Marion into the hole
Well… It’s you, me and these snakes
There’s a lot of skeletons in that room
They’ve found a way out into the Nazi air base
Time to steal me a plane
Did that big German just no-sell a kick to the nuts
I feel like this would later become inspiration to many levels of Call of Duty
EXPLOSION
This can’t be good
I was right and that big German just got sliced to bits
MORE EXPLOSIONS
Sallah finds Indy and Marion and tells him that The Ark is being loaded onto a truck
Time to steal me a horse and chase the truck
I have the feeling that the theme song will be stuck in my head when this has finished
Stop killing your own team mates
Watch where your driving
Indy’s stolen the truck with The Ark
Relisticly, one man can’t single handedly destroy an army like this
Now would be a bad time for The Ark to fall out the back of the truck
I didn’t need that passenger door
One German knocks Indy out of the truck and onto the hood
Indy then climbs under the truck and attaches himself to the rear axle
I’ll be having this truck back
Is everyone in Cairo on Indy’s side?
Sallah introduces Indy and Marion to Mr Katanga
They’re taking The Ark to England
So… getting kissed makes you sing?!?
KISS ME BITCH!!!
So… getting kissed makes you sleepy as well as sing?!?
Why is the wooden box The Ark is in catching fire?
The Germans have found Indy’s boat
And once again, Marion is captured
Mr Katanga lies saying Indy is dead
Belloq takes Marion with him
Indy has escaped and boarded the German submarine
They sail to an hidden island in a rock
Time to disguise myself as a German
Damn! This shirt is too small
Into the desert they all go
Where did Indy get a rocket launcher from?
Belloq wants Indy to blow The Ark up
Just realised that Belloq has very green eyes
Indy doesn’t blow it up and gets captured
Time to open The Ark
It’s full of sand!
Why does Herr Mac find up funny?
Were there ghosts living in The Ark?
Well.. that’s the Nazi’s defeated
Everyone’s face has melted!!!!
That clearly looked blue screened
Let’s not open that ever again
Back in Washington D.C.
Indy tells everyone that The Ark is safe somewhere
“We have top men working on it. Who? Top men”
The Ark’s been kept in a crate with lots of other crates
Lots and lots of crates
THE END
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