The Exorcist #MovieReview

Film 71 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1973’s “The Exorcist”.  And this is another edition of “Dan is stuck in a shitty hotel with no wifi and doing this review days before posting it online” review (See my last blog “Poltergeist” for more details). All I knew about this film going into it was the iconic shot of the man stood under the lamppost about to enter the house and the line “your mother sucks cocks”. After watching this, I saw far too much that I didn’t really need to see. Seeing the doctors sticking needles in her neck and shooting blood did make me squirm a little along with Reagan stabbing herself in the…. downstairs area with a knife. I didn’t know how to describe it any better. As soon as I saw that, I instantly thought that this film was about to turn into a BDSM porno. Thankfully, it didn’t do that and entertained me. I did find the first twenty-five or so minutes rather dull but one the daughter becomes possessed I rather enjoyed it. I did find Mrs McNeil to be a rather annoying person who just wanted to do what she wanted. Also, to me, if you have servants who cater to you and do everything you tell them to do does come across a little dickish. To me, it makes me feel like the only person you care about is yourself. While I’m on the subject of characters, one character stood out as someone I wanted to punch. This person is Burk, the director who we see at the beginning of the film. My reasons for wanting to punch him are for being annoying and for being racist to German by calling them Nazis. I don’t care if you’re drunk or not, it’s not acceptable. Besides those little things, I enjoyed this. If you have seen this film then let me know what you think of it in the comments. Here is what I have to say while watching 1973’s “The Exorcist”

Film – The Exorcist

Year – 1973

Director – William Friedkin

Staring – Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow, Linda Blair

IMDb Rating – 8.0/10

My Rating – 7.89/10

Length – 116 min (1h 56min)

Genre – Horror

It’s nice that the director explains some of the facts about the film from his living room

We start with Middle Eastern singing

We’re in Northern Iraq

Time to unearth these ancient architectures

They’ve found lamps, coins and other crap

What’s he found?

Whatever it was, he’s just broken it!

Not sure you should be drinking while taking pills

It takes three blacksmiths to make a sword

I forgot that they read and write from right to left in Iraq

Time for a pray

Better revisit the mines before I leave

He nearly got ran over by a horse and carriage

That Jeep looks battered

It’s alright guards! It’s only me!

Lots of ancient ruins in Iraq

DOG FIGHT!!!

That statue has a massive erection!

Back in Georgetown

That is some weird sneezing coming from the attic

Better check the kids room first and shut the window

She has servants cooking food!

So this is how a film is made

What the hell are they protesting about?

Is this The Exorcist Theme playing?

Whatever it is… I LIKE IT!

Don’t you hate it when airplane noise interrupts your conversation?

An invitation to dinner at The White House

You can’t have a horse in Washington?

This subway looks run down

Who is this Priest and why are we following him to the ghetto

Kids destroy cars to entertain themselves

Nice to know he left the radio on

So this Priest used to be a boxer and now lives with his mum

Here’s dinner – bread and soup

Turns out that mum has a broken leg

Better leave for work while she’s asleep

Back with the posh couple

She found an Ouija board in the closet and “plays” with it!?!

Who’s Captain Howdy?

It sounds like Captain Howdy wants to bang the mother

What’s wrong with reading Cosmo?

Don’t you hate it when you don’t know what to do for your birthday?

It’s been 26 minutes and I have no idea who anyone is or what’s happening

Does this daughter know everything through Captain Howdy?

ALLMAN BROTHERS!!!!!!

“Lord I was born a ramblin’ man”

Time for two priests to talk over beers

He wants to resign as a priest because he’s lost his faith

Mrs McNeil is very angry at the operator

That weird noise is back

That attic is filled with crap

Who keeps a stuffed bear in the attic?

So if it’s not the rats then what is it?!

Better prepare for Sunday Service

What the hell happened to that statue? It’s grown boobs and a penis!

Better go see the mother in hospital

This place looks depressing

It’s taken 34 minutes for me to know the priest’s name! It’s Timmy… or Jimmy! Let’s go with Timmy

Nice to know Timmy still does boxing on the side

At a film wrap party

This director seems to be a right dick

The director just called a German a Nazi!

I want to punch him

Now that everyone’s drunk, let’s talk about Heaven and Hell

Well she’s urinated on the carpet and says that someone’s gonna die

Nerves! Urinating on the floor and cursing people with death is a sign of nerves!

Better make the maid clean the urine stain

What the hell’s happening to her bed?

Timmy is now staying at a student accommodation and is upset that he wasn’t there to help his mum

“Stealing is a sin”

Flashbacks of Timmy running to his mum

The daughter just spat on the doctor and called him a “fucking bastard” – He’s only trying to help you

Wait! Timmy’s still a priest! I thought he resigned

The doctor says the daughter has brain damage

Time for testing before the operation

Needle in the neck! OW!

They could have at least knocked her out before doing this

This is hard to watch!

And that is how you do an x-ray of the brain

Back at home

The daughter is going crazy!

She’s possessed!!!

And a metal fan!

Did she just offer underage sex to the doctor?

We’ve drugged your daughter to the point she won’t wake up til tomorrow morning

We need to do more tests

Again the x-rays show that there is nothing wrong with the brain

Something’s kicked off other there

Who’s tampering with the electrics?

Chuck arrives and says Burk is dead

Who’s Burk and why should I care?

It’s taken me 56 minutes for me to know the daughter’s name – It’s Reagan

Does she think Captain Howdy is in control of her?

She’s possessed again!

She screamed so loud that its morning and we’re with Timmy who’s jogging

A detective talks to Timmy about the death of Burk

It turns out Burk is the director I wanted to punch

He says Burk died with his head facing the opposite way round at the bottom of the steps

So Timmy is a Priest, Boxer, Uni Student and a Therapist

Timmy says the Dominicans killed Burk

How has Reagan ended up with those cuts on her face and chapped lips?

Mrs McNeil thinks the doctors are lying to her and refuses to lock her daughter in her room

One doctor brings up exorcism and says only Catholics do it but don’t discuss it

That is an ugly looking Mercedes-Benz

That is a steep looking staircase

How did a cross get under Reagan’s pillow if neither of them are religious

The detective’s found something!

Mrs McNeil accuses Carl of placing the cross in her room

The detective arrives and talks with Mrs McNeil

He says Burk was killed by the possessed Reagan

Now that my works done, Can I have your autograph?

“You’re a very nice lady” – I beg to differ

What the hell happened in here?

Did Possessed Reagan make Mrs McNeil lick her… down there?

Also, why was she stabbing herself down there with a knife?

I get the feeling that Possessed Reagan is horny 24/7

Mrs McNeil meets with Timmy

She brings up exorcisms and Timmy says they don’t take place anymore

He says he needs church approval before he can perform an exorcism

Carl is still placing mousetraps in the attic

Reagan… You have a little snot hanging there….

Ok, it’s a tube!

Possessed Reagan says his mother is inside her

She then pukes all over Timmy

Downstairs in the basement

For a child’s drawing, she’s very good

Timmy tells Mrs McNeil everything that the church would have to approve on

He tells her that the devil is inside her

Timmy then brings up the fact that his mother has died

The detective has been watching from a distance

At the priesthood

Timmy talks about Jesus’ Last Supper

Timmy then meets with Possessed Reagan to record their conversation

Possessed Reagan then talks in both Latin and French

She then freaks out when Timmy throws Holy Water over her

She then starts speaking backwards

Nice to know that every celeb office has a bar in their office

He says that the Holy Water he poured was tap water

Timmy plays the recording backwards

“I am no one! Fear the priest! Let her die!”

Timmy then heads back to Mrs McNeil’s house

Reagan has “help me” written on her stomach

Timmy proposes his exorcism to the head of the priesthood

It’s agreed on if they can find an expert to help out

These two priests suggest the architect we say at the start of the film

We find him in the woods going for a walk

Possessed Reagan is still possessed

I love this image

(INSERT IMAGE)

Someone’s not happy that’s there’s priests in the house

He makes Timmy get all the Priest gear and other necessities

Let the exorcism begin!

You stay out of this mother

Possessed Reagan does everything to stop the exorcism taking place

Did everyone smoke cigarettes before they filmed this scene

“Your mother sucks cocks in Hell”

The bed is rising!

She just puked all over that cross

I thought you did the cross on the forehead

Her head just did a 360

Now Reagan’s floating in the air

“The power of Christ compels you”

I don’t think its working

Maybe it is

Better re-tie her to the bed

Where did that statue come from?

Let’s have a break – Where’s the Kitkats?

The architect starts getting the shakes again while Timmy sees an image on his mum in Possessed Reagan

Now Possessed Reagan has Timmy’s mum’s voice

Go sit outside and let me finish this

The detective arrives

Timmy enters the room to find the architect dead and Possessed Reagan untied and sat up

FIGHT – It’s Timmy vs. Possessed Reagan

Now Timmy’s possessed and jumps out of the window and rolls down the steep stairs

Reagan is now unpossessed

Woop Woop It’s the sound of the police!

“Do you want to make a confession?” – I don’t think he can! He’s dead!

Bloody hell! They cleaned up that mess quickly

Now that over with, I’m moving house

Mrs McNeil tells another priest that Reagan doesn’t remember anything

Reagan does however hug and kiss the priest before leaving

Before she leaves, Mrs McNeil gives the priest Timmy’s necklace

He looks down the stairwell and leaves

THE END

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