The Matrix

Woah! Film 43 in the “1001 Films to see before to die” is 1999’s “The Matrix”. First thing I’m gonna note is the soundtrack. I love it! Rob Zombie, Rage Against the Machine & Marilyn Manson! What more could you ask for? Was not expecting any of those to appear and I had a massive smile when I heard Rob Zombie’s “Dragula”. Second thing to note is the amazing CGI. Who didn’t drop their jaws when Neo dodge those bullets? Think it’s obvious that I enjoyed this film, even if they were bits that I found to be a little long winded but at no point did that affect how I felt about the film. As someone who hasn’t seen the two films that followed this and has heard nothing but bad things about them, are they worth watching to see how the story ends? Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t there a cartoon/anime film based around The Matrix? Keanu Reeves had this to say about The Wachowskis while making the film, “The Wachowskis really are pushers, you know. Really! In their movie, they pushed each actor, each technician to the extreme limit”. Speaking of The Wachowskis, they wanted to shoot all three of The Matrix films together! Keanu responded by saying it was “Totally crazy!” If you have seen this film or the two sequels, The Matrix Reloaded & The Matrix Revolution, then let me know what thought of the film in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1999’s “The Matrix”. Now excuse me while I mosh out to Rage Against the Machine (starts singing “Wake Up”)

Film – The Matrix

Year – 1999

Director – Andy & Lana Wachowski

Staring – Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss

IMDb Rating – 8.7/10

My Rating – 8.95/10

 

Everything’s green!!!

Don’t you just hate AOL Dial-Up connection?

5550690 – I shall be ringing that later

WOOP WOOP IT’S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE

You look evil

How many pop-ups on that laptop?

She’s like Spiderman…. only deadlier

Nothing like a rooftop chase

Slow motion movements!! – I have the feeling I’ll be seeing a lot of that

Like anyone can jump between buildings and not fall to their death

Well that was a stupid idea, Trinity… You got ran over by a dump truck

Neo? Does he live in Rio? Does he smell of B-O? 

Computers can talk to humans and get them out of bed?

“Follow the white rabbit”

Neo’s apartment is a dump!

That woman has a white rabbit tattoo

ROB ZOMBIE’S “DRAGULA”!!!! – Not gonna lie, I marked out!

Trinity looks like a female Tobey Maguire

Trinity is acting like that type of girlfriend you don’t want to break up with incase she freaks out

Neo’s real name is Thomas Anderson??!?

Shout out to FedEx

It’s a phone… that rings when Neo opens the parcel

Neo gets a call that people are coming for him

Is this caller watching from a security camera?

That looks like a drop

Why does Neo have the phone in his hand? You’ve only done and lost it!

Neo gets captured as Trinity was watching

Time for the interogation

Neo has two lives! A software developer and a hacker!

Agent Smith brings up Morpheus and will get Neo go free is he tells them about them

He’s stolen his mouth!!

This can’t be good!

That bug has just crawled inside Neo’s belly button!

It was a dream?!?! BOO!!!

Who’s calling at this time of the night?

“You are the one, Neo”

At Adam’s Street Bridge

Neo meets with Trinity and her friends and they hold a gun at him

What the hell is that thing?

Wait… that bug was real!!!

Probably not a smart idea to throw it out on the street

Trinity takes Neo to meet with Morpheus

Your sunglasses have no arms on them

Did you really just make a Alice in Wonderland reference?

“Do you believe in fate?”

Morpheus says Neo knows something that he doesn’t know – It makes more sense in the film than in this blog

The Matrix is everywhere!!!

Decision Time – Red or Blue?

Blue Pill means the story ends

Red Pill means you “stay in Wonderland”

Neo takes the red pill!!!! – Dun Dun Dun!!

Now they made a Wizard of Oz reference

That mirror just fixed itself

Neo is turning into Silver Surfer

That scream sounded Auto-Tuned

There’s a human in his heart!!!

I hate jumping puzzles in games

OK – this is actually a giant life thing

That robot spider is killing him

IT’S THE CLAW!!!

What just happened?

Neo has no hair and is now in the real world

This acupuncture looks like it’s taken a turn for the worse

Neo’s got hair… and clothes!!!

Is Morpheus trying to tell us that we’ve traveled from 1999 to 2199?

Morpheus’s ship looks like a health hazard

That chair looks like it came out of a optitions

We’re in the loading program

This is a real clusterfuck

New York looks like shit!

“Welcome to the desert of The Real”

A.I.? Artificial Intelligence? Wasn’t that a Steven Spielberg movie?

I wish I knew what was happening

That doesn’t look good for that baby

Back in the loading room

The Matrix is a Duracell D Battery?!?

Neo breaks free and pukes light green vomit and collapses

I really have no idea what Morpheus is babbeling on about

Tank is a normal person – Does that mean everyone else is a fake?

Time for combat training

Is “Drunken Boxing” really a skill?

“I know Kung Fu” – So does the band Ash!

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING!!!

THEIR BOTH AS FAST AS LIGHTNING!!!

I’M FINDING THIS A LITTLE BIT FRIGHTNING!!!

ALTHOUGHT IT IS EXCITING!!!

Moprheus looks like he didn’t break a sweat

Round 2! FIGHT!!

That was freaky

Now we’re on a rooftop

YES!!! Keanu Reeves just says “Woah!”

That didn’t go so well

Back to reality

I know this song but I can’t name it!!!

How did Agent Smith get there?

Wait… this is a training program

According to Morpheus, we are agents 

Is Morpheus’s ship flying around in a sewer?

They just admitted that they’re in a sewer

IT’S THE GIANT ROBOT SPIDER!!!! ARHH!

So… The Matrix is a bunch of code

This dude regrets not taking the blue pill

“You’re here to save the world! What do you say to that?” – I say… WOAH!!!

That steak looks very red in the middle

Agent Smith is meeting with his dude from Morpheus’s team – I knew he was a backstabber

That dude in question is names Regan

This guy looks a little like Bruno Mars

Time to take Neo to see The Oracle

We’re in the real world

Morpheus & Neo enter a run down building to see The Oracle

Morpheus has lost his sunglasses in the space of a shot

That child just made a spoon go wobbely

“That is no spoon” – IT’S A TEASPOON!!!!

The Oracle is a maid?

She looks like my old boss

Neo doesn’t believe he is “The One”

The Oracle tells Neo that Morpheus believes that Neo is The One

I hate making decisions regarding life

COOKIE!!!!

No one likes De Ja Vu

How many bullets???

YOU CAN NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!

You really trust Neo with a gun?

It’s like that scene in Shawshank Redemption except that dude escaped with no harm

Agent Smith has found Morpheus

Morpheus gets beat and taken away

Sneifer then shoots Tank and his mate

They find out about Sneifer’s backstabbing

There goes another one

And another

TANK’S ALIVE!!!!

Agent Smith is at Neo’s work place with Morpheus handcuffed to a chair

Time to save Morpheus

“Never send a human to do a machine’s job”

Tank is about to pull Morpheus’s plug but is stopped by Neo

Neo remembers what The Oracle told him

Neo believes he can bring Morpheus back and is back in simulation

Trinity wants to go but Neo stops her but Trinity finds a way go with him

Back with Agent Smith

That is a lot of guns to choose from

Agent Smith wants to be free by decoding Zyon

Now things just got interesting

Why did just get memories of Conker’s Bad Fur Day while watching this scene?

How weak are those pillars?

I’m glad I don’t need an elevator anytime soon

Time for a rooftop rumble

He just got a knife between the eyes!

Now that is how you dodge a bullet

MINIGUN!!!!

Morpheus finally wakes up and is shot while jumping for the helicopter

Neo catches him as Trinity flies them away

Not gonna lie… that was cool

Agent Smith finds the crash site but not them

That hobo is in spooksville!!!

Spot wasting time Trinity

The hobo is now Agent Smith!!!

Trinity made it back but Neo is still there

Time for the showdown… Western Style!!!

OH NO!!!! Neo just broke Agent Smith’s sunglasses!!!

Neo just went from being beaten up to being Superman and back to being beaten in 2 seconds

I was wondering when the next train was coming

Neo escapes the train but not Agent Smith

YOU NO-SELLING BASTARD!!!

Neo just stole a phone!!!

Don’t you just hate dead ends?!?

Those Agents can morth quickly

Meanwhile, Morpheus and the gang are in trouble

I would hate having to use that fire escape

Agent Smith is in the room and shoots Neo!!!

Neo takes 10 more bullets and is now dead!!!

“Goodbye, Mr Anderson”

Trinity just said The Oracle told her that she would fall in love with a dead man

Trinity’s kiss brings Neo back to life

Neo just stopped all those bullets with his hand

Neo looks so casual beating Agent Smith up

Neo then jumps inside Agent Smith’s body and destroys him from the inside

Morpheus sets off the EMP and kills the aliens just as Neo makes it back 

KISS ME BITCH

System failure!!! Son of a …..

THE END – with “Wake Up” by RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE!!

MARILYN MANSON “Rock is Dead!” – I’m in heaven!!! 😀