Airplane! #MovieReview

Film 33 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1980’s “Airplane!” I had a lot of fun watching this. So many funny moments. So many quotable lines. I’m gonna have to buy this on DVD in the morning (I’m renting the film courtesy of Cinema Paradiso). The film even got me to dance to Bee Gees, even if it did sound like the chipmunks were singing it. Fun fact, The Bee Gees gave permission for the film makers to use “Staying Alive” and speed up the music for the dance scene. Gotta love Otto, the inflatable co-pilot! I want my own Otto! This film would later be parodied by Family Guy in the episode “Airport ’07” with Quagmire playing the role of Ted. I believe there were sequels of this film, if they are, I might have to check them out. If you have seen this film, then let me know what you thought of it in the comments. Here is what I had to say about 1980’s “Airplane!”

Film – Airplane
Year – 1980
Director – Jim Abrahams
Staring – Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielson
IMDb Rating – 7.8/10
My Rating – 8.3/10
 
Have I accidently put Jaws on?
AIRPLANE!!!!
GIANT TEXT!!!!
Elaine is making her way to work
These announcers clearly don’t get along
That man is made of metal!
Abortion talk over the tannoy! 
Bugger off religious man
That plane just crashed into the airport
Ted finds Elaine and they chat
Ted wants things to be the way they were
“What a pisser”
Modern Sperm magazine
Captain Oveur gets a call about from a doctor 
That heart’s alive
I don’t think it;s the smartest idea to have a person dying on a stretcher board a plane
Elaine blames Ted for his past refering to his past with the war
Everyone board the Trans American
I didn’t know planes had hoods like cars
Pilots chat about pilot things
Ted wants a ticket to Chicago 
You can smoke on planes
Oh his ticket is smoking
Ted gets war flashbacks
Does he realise he left someone in his cab?
These subtitles are different to what they are saying
Ted boards the flight and finds Elaine and ignores her
Fasten your seatbelt 
Meanwhile, little boy needing a heart transplant gets strapped in
Planes have the same sound effects as trains
This airport must be made on a budget
Haha, pilots have names that are confusing
Why would a little boy be reading about Nuns
Ted bumps into Elaine and she walks away
Is this old lady have a thing for Elaine
Time for a flashback about Ted’s past
Ted clearly doesn’t fit in 
BROWNIE FIGHT
THROUGH THE TABLE
Classic bar slide into the jukebox
BEE GEES!!!
Bikers like Bee Gees!
Am I watching Saturday Night Fever?
Ted finds Elaine and is in love
That man just got stabbed and still dances then dies
Is this the chipmunks cover of Bee Gees?
Ted thinks he’s John Travolta
Dance Dance!
Even I’m dancing
There’s no way she can carry Ted
I’m waiting for the worm
Russian dancing while juggling
Those Brownies are still fighting
The music goes to romantic jazz and its slow dance time 
Even though the bar’s close
There’s still fighting!
Back to reality and Ted’s story has made the old lady hang herself
Does anyone say Gee Whizz anymore
My subtitles can translate Jive talk
A little kid offers a little girl a coffee
That little girl like her coffee black like men – WOO!
Elaine then has a flashback to life at the beach
KISS ME BITCH
They’re covered in seaweed
Ted tells her that he’s being deported in the morning
KISS ME AGAIN BITCH
Flashback over 
In the cockpit,
Elaine brings a little boy into the cockpit
Captain Oveur hands him a toy plane
“Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”
That kid just told us who Roger is – He’s Kareem Adbul-Jabbar
That kid just got him told
Ted and Elaine have a chat
What have they done to that old lady who was there
Elaine leaves in tears and Ted has flashbacks to his time in the war
In the flashback
Ted is in hospital.. painting
SPIT TAKE
Nice painting
Captain Gilline is a little delusional
Hurwitz thinks she’s Ethal Murman
“War is Hell”
That air hostess can play guitar and sing… rather nicely
Shes just popped his IV out
Well she’s dying… again
Back in the cockpit
It’s teatime
Ted talks and we have another flashback
Ted and Elaine are with Zulus
High Fives lead to a punch in the face
Elaine tells the womens about storage boxes
Ted shows the men how to play basketball
Elaine says she wants to go home
Ted mentions George Zip’s death and thats when their relationship took a turn
The man stabs himself
A woman starts to have stomach pains
That little kid is still in the cockpit… and has a basketball
“Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”
One man pukes after his second cup of coffee
The ill woman gets inspected by a doctor and she starts spitting out eggs
The eggs have birds inside them
Victor has collapsed!!!
Roger is in charge now
WE’RE GOING DOWN
Roger’s in his basketball gear
Captain Oveur saves the plane
Everyone’s getting sick
Don’t mind the dead people we’re dragging
The little boy is back in his seat
Everyone who had fish will be ill within 30 minutes
Captain Oveur is getting ill
WE’RE GOING DOWN AGAIN!!!
Jiggle Jiggle Jiggle
Automatic pilot mode activated
It’s a inflatable pilot
Better plan a way to get the plane down
They can’t land until there in Chicago
Elaine is now flying the plane
The inflatable pilot has deflated
There’s a woman giving birth onboard
Hey now – Elaine I didn’t know you were into inflatable sex
Inflatable Pilot you devil you!
Ted clearly has a drinking problem – He pours drinks into his eye
We need someone who can fly a plane… and didn’t have fish
EVERYONE PANIC
TITS
Sword fight
The nun and the monks are fighting
RIOT!!
Back on ground, Paul looks for Captain Kramer
That dog likes Paul
So much it attacks him
Kramer heads out
Ted tells his story to an Indian who pours lighter fluid on himself and is about to set himself on fire
Elaine asks Ted to fly the plane
EXPLOSION
“Don’t call me Shirley”
Ted is their only hope
SO MANY BUTTONS!
Why are you still in Ted’s cab?
Cheif gets a call and hangs up
Kramer drives and doesn’t look like he’s in a hurry
Kramer knows that Ted is landing the plane
How did he drive through a western?
Ted sits in the pilot chair and starts reading things you would find on a washing machine
WRONG BUTTON
CORRECT BUTTON
Time to beat up a deranged passenger
Captain Kramer doesn’t take shit from no one
Why can’t I ride the baggage claim machine at airports
Kramer meets with Cheif
Where did that arrow come from
Where did that watermelon come from
Kramer speaks with Ted and Ted isn’t happy
Ted needs confidence
“Flying a plane is like riding a bicycle”
EXPLOSION
Inflatable pilot!! NO!!
Inflatable pilot just got a little grabby
Elaine is now the Co-Pilot
The doctor tells all the passengers 
He has Pinnochio’s nose
A LITTLE HOT
Where did that turkey come from
How is it raining at 24000 feet?
Old women speak Jive
Cheif rings Captain Oveur’s wife about the news
She’s making her way there
She sleeps with a horse in the bed?
Concentrate
Echo
Best… Air Conditioning… Ever
There’s a turkey in the microwave
This isn’t the time to play jazz 
How many reporters?
They’re stealing the pictures
How quickly did they make them newspapers
“I say let them crash”
That woman is offended my whiskey
But is ok with snorting cocaine
Nun starts singing “Respect”
The man pukes because of this
That other air hostess is called Randy
She’s upset that she’s 26 and unmarried – I know that feeling at 21
Back with Ted
More war memories
One of the engines have gone
“Shit’s gonna hit the fan”
Ted leaves the cockpit and puts inflatable pilot in charge
Ted sits in the back and is confronted by the doctor
He tells Ted about his war past
George Zip! 
That name gives Ted confidence
“Excuse me, Doc. I got a plane to land”
He’s back in the cockpit and he has to land
THE TOWER!!!
We’re gonna crash, let’s watch films of planes crashing
Oveur’s wife arrives at the tower
He’s playing SNES
BUDWEIZER
Air Israel is a little stereotypical
Elaine falls back in love with Ted
Your married! Stop getting frisky with someone else
Cheif collapses after sniffing glue
The lights have gone out
There back on
Cheif jumps out of the tower
This looks like a bumpy landy
He’s down!
The brakes!
How much sweat
There go the wheels
How has Johnny still got a job
The plane has stopped
How sweaty is Ted?
Kramer, why are you telling us your story?
KISS ME BITCH
Inflatable pilot take the plane and flies away
There’s a female one
THE END
Wait… The inflatable pilot was called Otto?!?
YOU’RE STILL IN THE FUCKING CAB?!?
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