District 9 #MovieReview

Film 32 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge was 2009’s District 9. God, I don’t want to talk this film. Words cannot describe what I have just witnesses. Everyone comes off as a twat. Even the aliens! I was hating this film right from the moment I was Wikus on my TV screen. From that point, it was all downhill. When I told people that District 9 made it onto the list, I was told my some that it’s terrible and I should avoid it and I had others say that it’s great. I’m sorry but I’m going with the people who hate this. The CGI wasn’t even good to look at. It had that “It was there” feel to it. If you have seen this film, then let me know what your thoughts and opinions are in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 2009’s District 9. I need a drink!

Film – District 9
Year – 2009
Director – Neill Blomkamp
Staring – Sharlto Copley, David James, Jason Cope
IMDb Rating – 8/10
My Rating – 5.7/10
 
Paging Mr Hayes.
Alien Affairs workers clearly working
Prawns?
So… aliens prefere South Africa over Chicago or Washington?
Why would you wany to break into a UFO?
Is this meant to have a documentary feel?
These aliens look like burned humans
A temporary holding zone for aliens? Really?
Aliens are here to stay in South Africa? 
“When there’s a weapon, there’s crime!” – Really?
These people call aliens “Prawns”
I am confused about what is happening
Protests to get rid of the aliens
MNU decide to move all the aliens to a safer place 200 miles of Johannesburg
Give the aliens 24 hour notice… Do aliens understand English?
Wikus looks like a douche
Wikus reminds me of Borat… only difference is Wikus is annoying me
What’s wrong for carrying too much ammo? Better safe than sorry
I am finding this film is starting to annoy me with its plot and we’re only 11 minutes in
They enter District 9
Well this is going down well
The aliens are shooting them already
Do they really think aliens understand English?
Slapping a contract counts as a signature? Really?
I am asking too many questions
Cat food distracts aliens? Really?
Aliens like cat food!?!?
Scorpion fighting in a cage?!
So the Nigerians are helping the aliens?
That doesn’t look good
That was a cow?
FLAMETHROWER!!!
SHUT THE FUCK UP WIKUS YOU USELESS TWAT!!!
That CGI explosion looked terrible
Why can’t that alien piss on his own blanket?
Also, why is that alien wearing a bra?
Did those aliens find an old SEGA game cartridge?
It’s Breaking Bad with aliens!!!
Twenty years to make one drop of blood?!? Why not cut yourself next time! It’ll be a lot quicker
Wikus has found the stuff!!!
That was clever wasn’t it
How many guns!?!?
That helicopter pilot looks like the lead singer of Five Finger Death Punch
Fuck ’em up, alien, fuck ’em up
The alien lost 😦
How did Wikus burn his arm?
This alien is stupid for sending his young one out on the streets
That kid alien just threw a lollipop at Wikus – Good lad
Is this alien living in a shack sized computer hard drive?
That puke was clearly fake
That alien is called Christopher Johnson?!?!  They couldn’t come up with proer alien names
Wikus cures his puking with junk food
He’s bleeding black blood!!!
His fingernail has just fallen off
He just chewed off another one
Back with the Nigerians who are having a trade
100 cat food tins for a technological suit of armour! – Bargain! 
Especially if they kill him afterwards
Aliens get diabites?!?
Nigerians eat aliens?!?! 
I am really getting annoyed and pissed off!
How did Wikus get a promotion?!?
Get him told boss of MNU
Wikus doesn’t look well
He’s puking again!!
His puke is black!!!
We’re in hospital now
Wikus has an alien arm!
They bag him up and take him away
Let the operation begin
Wouldn’t you knock him out if you perform that type of operation
Why am I getting flashbacks of Avenged Sevenfold’s “Nightmare” music video seeing this?
How to make people do things with MNU – Just shock them with a cattle prod
Wikus won’t shoot an alien but he was ok with them shooting them earlier
They think Wikus is going to turn into an alien
Wait… The boss of MNU is Wikus’s wife’s dad!?!
What the hell is going on?
HE’ S CRAZY!!!!
Wikus escapes and is out on the streets
What shit security they have at MNU
The boss gets the news of his escape
Wikus not only just ate food off the floor but he just stole a phone
MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!
He’s a thief! He just stole clothes from a washing line
Back at the fast food place
Whoops
Now I’ve escaped everyone, better ring the house phone
Voicemail! NO!
Shit! They’ve found him!
Wikus decides to make his new home at District 9 for the night
That’s a stupid idea that somehow worked
Best adapt to alien live by eating cat food
Do this look like a hamburger shop? They cook pig’s heads!
I’ll just take the cat food
And there go the teeth
How did Tania get the mobile number of the phone he stole
Tania dumps him because Wikus has sex with an alien
Why didn’t we see that?
He just stole an axe
More proof he’s a thief
He’s gonna chop his alien arm off
Well there goes one of the fingers
Shit! They’ve found him again!
It’s Christopher the alien again!
He doesn’t want to help Wikus
Talk about illegal downloading
Wikus then faints from the blood loss and the aliens hide him
Wikus wakes up and the alien asks him about the fluid he took
Wikus tell him MNU Labs have it
He has an underground shack!
The aliens need the fluid to get back to the spaceship above them
I’ve somehow managed to make it to the 58 minute mark and still confused as to what is going on
That sunset reminds me of Lion King
Wikus uses a mirror to find out that he has more alien features coming out of his back
Tania calls Wikus and forgives him
She wants him back! After all that!!!! FOR FUCK SAKE!!!
The Boss was tracing the call!
They’ve found him again
The aliens talk about their new home and says they can’t go back to their old home
Wikus agrees to get the black fuel back for them and they’ll all go on the spaceship and turn him back human
He visits the Nigerians who just mock him for having sex with aliens
Their boss says he wants the arm
Why buy the weapons when you can just steal them
Back in Johannesburg
Wikus has found them!!!
He’s has an ally with the alien
How does Wikus still have access codes to the lab? Wouldn’t they change them?
Wikus has the fuel but the alien is more interested with what has happened to his friends
Do we really need Go-Pro Cam?
The alien finally helps when Wikus reminds him of his son?
The alien then makes a bomb and it leads to the car park
Gotta love Toyota pick-up trucks
“Everything is fine” – Really?
How is there still 30 minutes left of this?
They make it back to the shack
It’s gonna take 3 years to return to human state
Wikus then betrays the alien and knock him out
The bad men have the alien
How does Wikus know how to work alien machinery when he’s seeing everything for the first time
The spaceship emerges from underground and takes off 
THEY’VE BEEN HIT!!!
The Nigerians are watching on
It’s down!
They take the alien away and drive to the crash site
They search the ship to find Wikus
To quote Nonpoint – “I got a bullet with a name on it! Bullet with a name!”
They take Wikus away and leave the son behind
IT’S THE NIGERIANS
They attack everyone and they still want the arm
The Nigerians find Wikus in the truck and start carrying him away
The little alien still has power in the ship
The pilot’s name is Koobus – There’s 20 minutes left and I finally find out his name!
The Nigerian Boss wants the arm so he can become an alien himself
Better sharpen my machetes while my friends are being killed
There goes all the windows
That machine suit saves Wikus and kills The Nigerians
Oh you got the camera mucky
The spaceship and the MNU helicopters move to District 9
I didn’t know Jason Statham was in this?
They start beating up the alien and want to know about the ship
Wikus then gets inside the machine 
Have I accidently started watching Iron Man?
They let Wikus leave and then think about killing the alien
Wikus somehow hears this and returns to save his friend
They make their way back to the ship to find his son
That stopped them
So a sniper rifle bullet can harm it but AK-47 bullets can’t – Huh?
The alien leaves Wikus behind on his demands and gets ran over
The alien made it! Yay! But I really don’t care anymore
Do we really need the news updates? It just ruins everything
The remains of the ship then start making their way up to the spaceship
Wikus is down!!!
He then gets hit with a RPG and ran over and the suit breaks down
Since when did suits of armour bleed blood? 
Wikus falls out and is helpless
The aliens make it to the ship
Koobus finds Wikus and sees his alien formation
The aliens then start surrounding them and Koobus gets ripped apart and eaten
I’m feeing very sleepy right now
Bye bye spaceship
Everyone is happy that the ship is leaving
Are they still trying to play this off as a documentary? – FOR FUCK SAKE!!!
Some asshole who I don’t care about says Wikus was captured but don’t know who took him
I really don’t care anymore
They built District 10!!!
Wikus’s wife as a metalic rose
The aliens are still aliens
Who cares?
THE END
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