Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs #MovieReview

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s back to work I go. After watching a woman get raped by a tree in my last film, Evil Dead, I thought that film 30 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” should be a little more happier. So I decided that film number 30 should be 1937’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”. Yes! Disney! Everyone loves Disney movies! Right? Well why not start with the first Disney film to be made in colour! Before this, there had only been one Disney film out at the time and that was 1928’s Steamboat Willie. This film brought back so many childhood memories and who hasn’t sang the “Hi Ho” song? This film maybe 77 years old but it still holds up. Everything looked so good. Sergei Eisenstein once stated that he felt Snow White would be the greatest film ever produced. Is he right? Let me know in the comments. Also let me know if you liked the film and think that the live action remakes are not great (Snow White and The Huntsman). Here is what I had to say while watching 1937’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Film – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Year – 1937
Director – William Cottrell
Staring – Adriana Caselotti, Harry Stockwell, Lucille La Verne
IMDb Rating – 7.7/10
My Rating – 8/10

Opening credits
This music is rather relaxing
That book just opened by itself!
Reading
More reading
We open with The Queen talking to the mirror
“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”
The mirror tells her that it isn’t her
The mirror says the fairest one of them all is Snow White
We find Snow White scrubbing stone steps while being followed by doves
Snow White can speak to doves by singing
A man on a horse then arrives and finds Snow White singing into a well
The water looks rather realistic
The man scares Snow White inside the house
He sings to her
I think shes in love
That dove just got all shy
So that’s where Games of Thrones got inspiration for that chair
The Queen sends a huntsman to kill Snow White and wants her heart in a box
Back with Snow White who is still singing
There’s a lost bird – Aw!
The huntsman is there
Where’s the music from Psycho when I need it?
The huntsman goes to stab her but hesitates and tells her about why he was sent to kill her
He tells her to run away and hide
Woods are scary
Nearly just saw that tree rape scene from Evil Dead again
Wooden planks that turn into alligators – OK then
EVIL EYES
Snow White cowers on the floor and begins to cry
Those eyes are scary at all! There woodland creatures
A rabbit gets close to her and runs away when Snow White gets up
She appologises for scaring them – Is Snow White have a special talent at singing to animals?
I can’t watch this scene without thinking of Shrek
More singing
All the woodland critters come out and listen to Snow White
ENCORE! ENCORE!
Snow White doesn’t have a place to stay for the night
She asks the birds for help and they take her away
All the animals take her through the woods to find shelter
Snow White isn’t exactly dressed for a hike through the woods now is she
The animals then show her the house to stay in
Seems like a nice place
Doesn’t look like anyone’s home
Why would you leave your house unlocked
Everyone heads inside the house and has a look around
All the animals run away after Snow White finds a table fit for seven
She thinks the house is owned by children
But there’s a pickaxe on the table
Did those birds just wolf whistle a shoe
Snow White doesn’t like all the muck and mess everywhere
She suggests on cleaning the house to convince them to let her stay
Everyone gets to work
I wouldn’t advice licking them plates
Also, since when have animals known how to clean up
That squrriel just used its tail as a feather duster
So that’s where the inspiration for Buckeroo came from
Meanwhile
In a mineshaft
Time for a song about digging
So many diamonds!
Silly Dopey, you’re meant to put diamonds in your eye socket
Hi Ho
Hi Ho
It’s home from work we go
The dwarfs sing and head home
Back at home Snow White is still there and so are the animals
She heads upstairs and finds the beds
Each bed has the names of the seven dwarfs carved into them
Doc
Happy
Sneezy
Dopey
Grumpy
Bashful
And Sleepy
Everyone is tired
Snow White falls asleep across three beds as the animals fall asleep as well
The dwarfs are home
All the animals leave when they hear them singing
Where is Dopey get that lantern from
Doc realises that the house is lit up
The door is still open
Grumpy thinks something bad is inside
They all agree to sneak inside and find out what’s inside
They head inside and get scared when Dopey slams the door
They look around the downstairs of the house to find the floor has been swept
Everything is clean
Sneezy… sneezes and sends everyone flying
PILE ON!!!
They tie Sneezy’s beard around his nose to prevent him from sneezy – Wouldn’t that hurt?
The birds then start playing mind games with them and scare the dwarfs into hiding
They nominate Dopey to go upstairs to investigate
Only just realised that Dopey doesn’t have a beard and all the others do
Dopey heads into the bedroom and has a look around
Dopey thinks he’s found a ghost and everyone runs outside
Everyone except Dopey who breaks the door handle and flies into the cupboard
He gets tangled up in pots and pans and is beaten up by the other six because they think it’s the monster
They realise it was Dopey and ask what it was
He tell us that it was sleeping in their beds
Grumpy suggests chopping it into pieces – That’s a bit extreme
They head inside and go to the bedroom
They are about to kill it but stop when they see it’s Snow White
Grumpy quote “All women are poison” – Why did I suddenly get a flashback to a quote one of my wrestling friends told me about women “All women are snakes with tits”
Snow White begins to wake up and they all hide
They all hide at the bottom of the beds
Time for a game of game of “Guess the dwarf” with Snow White
Is sneezing really funny?
Dopey never speaks
Snow White just mocked Grumpy
Will Doc ever get a sentence right?
Snow White tells them who she is and tells them that The Queen wants to kill her
Grumpy says The Queen knows where they are at any given time
Snow White says she will clean and cook for them and the dwarfs let her stay
HOORAY FOR SOUP!!!
What’s “Wash”?
They haven’t washed their hands! Dirty bastards
Get them told Snow White
Grumpy just walked into a door – Thought that was Dopey’s job
Fun fact – Water is wet!
Did I just get a step by step guide on how to wash your hands and face?
Well that’s one way to clean your bold spot
Grumpy dares them to make him wash
So they pile on top of him and drag him to the tub
DON’T DROP THE SOAP!!!
Dopey’s only gone and swallowed it
Well… they washed Grumpy
Back to the castle
The Queen talks to the mirror and asks who is the fairest again
It’s still Snow White
The mirror tells her that the huntsman brought her a heart of a pig! Not Snow White!
She goes into her room and plans on visiting the dwarfs in disguise
Mummy Dust – A combination of The Black of Night, A Old Hag’s Cackle, A Scream of Fright, A Blast of Wind and A Thunderbolt
She drinks it and starts gasping for air
She then turns into a old woman
She then makes a poisened apple plagued with Sleeping Death
One taste of the apple and the victims eyes will close forever
Back at the dwarfs house and everyone is having a song and a dance
Doc on bass and banjo
Grumpy on the piano
Bashful on accordian
Happy is the on vocals
Dopey on percussion
Sleepy on flute
Bashful tries singing but gets shy
Snow White then chimes in with dancing
The animals watch on from the window
Dopey and Sneezy then stack on top of each other to dance with Snow White
Looks like a good time
TAKE COVER FOR THE SNEEZE
Sneezy’s sneeze sends Dopey into the roof
Happy then asks Snow White to tell them a story
She tells them about her love for Prince Charming
Her story then turns into singing and everyone is happy
Well… almost everyone
It’s bedtime!
Doc says Snow White can have their beds and everyone else will sleep downstairs
Dopey finds himself a pillow and falls asleep on it
Then everyone else fights over it
They end up ripping the pillow up
Dopey ends up sleeping on a springy feather
Grumpy falls asleep in a cooking pot
Bashful sleeps in a draw
Happy sleeps in the cupboard
Doc sleeps in the sink
Sneezy and Dopey share a bench
Everything is so peaceful
Back with the witch
She dips an apple into the cauldron and has the apple ready for Snow White
All this because The Queen wants to be the fairest in the land
She tells us that the only way to beat Sleeping Death is by Love’s First Kiss – Remember that
“She’ll be buried alive”
The Witch takes her apple and heads to the dwarf house by boat
Morning arrives
Doc leads Snow White outside and tells her to keep an eye out for strangers
She kisses all the dwarfs
Grumpy thinks kisses are disgusting
Dopey sneaks back inside and gets another kiss
Snow White kisses Grumpy and he cracks a smile before walking into a tree and falling into a river and bonking his head on a bridge
Back with The Witch who’s on the move
Back with Snow White who is baking a pie stuffed with peas
IT’S THE WITCH!!!
She offers Snow White an apple
The bird realise something isn’t right when the crows arrive to watch
Snow White takes her inside and fetches her a cup of water
All the animals run for help from the dwarfs
The dwarfs arrive at work and stop when they see the animals
Back with The Witch and Snow White
The apple is a wishing apple
One bite and all her dreams will come true
“Make a wish and take a bite”
They realise that The Queen is at their house and they follow the animals back home
Back with Snow White who takes a bite into the apple
She collapses and falls on the floor
The Witch leaves the house and sees the animals and the dwarfs arrive
The Witch makes a run for it through the woods
That’s not the greatest of weather to go rock climbing in
The Witch is trapped but she about to drop a boulder on them
Lightning strikes and The Witch falls off the cliff and dies
Back with Snow White who is in bed
All the dwarfs cry when they see her
Even the animals are upset
Did The Queen get the last laugh?
The dwarfs decide to bury her in a golden coffin
Grumpy places flowers on Snow White and everyone has a pray
IT’S PRINCE CHARMING!
Don’t mind me! Just funeral crashing
He kisses Snow White on the lips and bows his head
Snow White awakens from Sleeping Death
SHE’S ALIVE!!!
Happiness all around!!
Prince Charming carries Snow White to his horse and kisses all the dwarfs before leaving everyone
Into the sunset the ride
“And they lived happily ever after”
THE END
Now that’s a happy ending!

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