Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory #MovieReview

Film number 27 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1971’s “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. Been a very long time since I last saw this and I didn’t enjoy it as a kid. Now I’m older and understand things more, I can now say that I enjoyed it. The books says that his is the 70’s answer to The Wizard of Oz. I don’t know if that’s true or not since it’s been ages since I saw that so when I do see it, I’ll give you my opinion. The boat scene in the film is very memorable as you don’t expect to see all the things that flashed on the walls of the tunnel such as animals being beheaded and all the flashing colours. Plus Wonka’s lines of “There’s no earthly way of knowing, which direction they are going, there’s no knowing where they’re rowing, or which way the river’s flowing, Is it raining, is it snowing?, Is a hurricane a-blowing?, [sharp gasp] Not a speck of light is showing, So the danger must be growing, are the fires of Hell a-glowing?, Is the grisly Reaper mowing?, Yes! The danger must be growing, ’cause the rowers keep on rowing,and they’re certainly not showing, any sign that they are slowing!” Fantastic performance by Gene Wilder. I much enjoyed him in his then I did in “The Producers”. Unfortunately, I have seen the Tim Burton remake and it doesn’t hold up to the original. Even with Johnny Depp as Wonka. That and they changes the name of the film from “Willy Wonka” to “Charlie”. If you have seen either the original or the Tim Burton remake then let me know what you thought of them in the comments below. Here is what I had to say while watching 1971’s “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. Now excuse me while I have a Dairy Milk. Mmm… Chocolate (does the Homer Simpson drool)

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Film – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Year – 1971
Director – Mel Stuart
Staring – Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum
IMDb Rating – 7.8/10
My Rating – 7.9/10
 
This close up of chocolate makes me hungry
So that’s how Kit Kats are made
And that’s how Hershey’s Kisses are made
MORE CHOCOLATE
Lots of Wonka bars
We open with school children running as it is home time
They run to the sweet shop
“Scrumdidlyumptious bar” – I hope I spelt that right
Time for a song – “The Candy Man Can”
You’re just giving away sweets and chocolate – How are you still in business
Is this meant to be a kids version of a pub?
Outside we see Charlie who continues on his way for his paper route
You are a terrible paper boy
Charlie’s route takes him past the Wonka Factory
Who are you?
This man tells us that no one ever comes in and no one ever comes out
At Charlie’s house
How can four old people share the same bed
Supper is cabbage water
Charlie gives all of pay to his mum and a bit to Grandpa Joe so he can buy tobacco
Charlie has a chat with Grandpa Joe about Willy Wonka 
They don’t know who is working inside the factory as the gates are locked
In science class
This teacher is a bit of a twat
Outside, a kid tells everyone that there are 5 golden tickets hidden in Wonka bars for a chance to visit inside Wonka’s Factoy and a lifetime supply of chocolate
Grandpa Joe thinks Charlie can get all 5 – I don’t think so
The President of America bought a van full of Wonka Bars
Everyone in the world wants a golden ticket
The news then tells us that the first ticket was found in Germany
In Germany, we meet the ticket winner – Augustus Gloop
Mr Gloop just ate the news microphone
IT’S CHARLIE’S BIRTHDAY
God Charlie’s house is a shithole
Charlie’s present from everyone is a knitted scarf
Grandpa Joe got Charlie a Wonka Bar because he wants to see gold
Charlie fooled them and then offers a piece to everyone
Now we’re with Veruca and Mr Salt
Mr Salt says that the person who finds the ticket will get a £1 raise 
Veruca is a real spoilt bitch
They’ve got it!
Now for another new report giving us an update 
Now with some bloke
He tells us that his machine will tell us the presice location of the remaining golden tickets
The machine replys with “I won’t tell. That would be cheating”
Well that failed
He tries again and gets told “What would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate?” – It has a point
One last try but we don’t see what happens
The news tells us that ticket number 3 is found by Violet Beauregarde in a used car lot in Montana
She really likes her gum
Violet’s dad only cares about shilling his used cars
Are all kids meant to be brats
Who is this creepy man that keeps appearing
Charlie then has a chat with his mother about the golden tickets
Charlie says we can count him out for finding a ticket
“Things will change when you least expect it”
Time for another song
Is it really wise to let a kid Charlie’s age wonder the streets at that time of night?
Full moon – Watch out for werewolves!
Ticket number 4 is now been found in Marble Falls, Arizona by Mike TV who is dressed as a cowboy and only watches westerns
This news reporter looks like Vic Reeves
How can Mike watch TV when there’s that many reporters there
How does Mike know everything about Colt 45
Back with the evening report with an update
Back with Grandpa Joe who used Charlie’s money to buy a Wonka Bar
They didn’t get it – 😦
Charlie thinks the golden tickets makes the chocolate taste terrible
At an auction in the UK
They auction off the last box of Wonka Bars in ALL OF BRITAIN!!!
£5000 for chocolate!
Now we’re with a woman who have a ransom note from thieves who apparently stole her husband
The thief want the Wonka Bars
The final ticket has been found in Paraguay
Alberto has won the last one!
Charlie overhears the news in bed and begins to cry
Back in school
We get a lesson on percentages
The teacher uses the amount of Wonka Bars the children opened to explain how percentages work
Charlie says he only opened 2 so the teacher makes it up and says Charlie opened 200 as he couldn’t work out a percentage from 2
Outside, Charlie finds money in the gutter and uses it to buy a Wonka Bar
I think thats the only time that shop keeper has actually made any money
Outside we are told that the ticket found in Paraguay was a fake
There’s still one ticket left 
Charlie then opens his Wonka Bar and sure enough he has the last one!
“Run straight home and don’t stop ’til you get there”
How is Charlie not knackered?
It’s the creepy man – The president of Slugsworth Chocolate
He tells Charlie about Wonka’s new invention – The Ever Lasting Gobstopper
Charlie then continues on running
I’m just waiting for Charlie to fall over and clucth at his knee ala Family Guy
Charlie runs home and waves the ticket around
Grandpa Joe tells us that only one member of a family can go with Charlie
Charlie picks Grandpa Joe
Holy crap! Joe’s out of bed then immediaty falls back into bed
Joe hasn’t stood up in 20 years – What’s he done when he needed to use the toilet
Joe then sings about the golden ticket
While Joe is singing, Charlie helps him get his slippers on and then Joe runs around the bed and runs into every wall
How does Charlie know what Joe’s going to sing – It’s as if they rehearsed it!
For someone who hasn’t walked in 20 years he’s moving around fine
He’s even dancing
The next day
We’re at Wonka’s factory
HEY MOM I’M ON TV
Veruca wants to go in first
Augustus is still eating
IT’S 10AM and everyone trys to catch a glimpse at Wonka
He has a bit of a limp
Wonka then does a forward roll and welcomes the winners
Veruca is first 
Followed by Augustus
Then Violet
Violet’s dad is still trying to sell his cars
Then Mike
And finally Charlie
And inside we go!!!
The coathangers are actual hands
HOW MUCH READING?!
They can’t do in without signing the very giant contract
They then enter a very tight room and they enter a room that gets smaller the further you walk 
Augustus clearly wants to get inside
That’s the lock!
They enter the chocolate room 
Wonka then sings a song about “Pure Imagination”
Wonka is cleary a trickster… or a kid inside
FIRST TO THE CHOCOLATE RIVER WINS
Even the parents have some of the chocolate
That flower is used as a cup then eaten by Wonka
10,000 gallons of chocolate an hour is make into the river
IT’S THE OOMPA-LOOMPAS
Wonka says he took the Oompa’s to work with him 
Augustus then falls into the chooclate river and is then sucked into a tube
That pipe goes into the fudge room
There goes the Gloops
Now for “The Oompa Loompa” song
It has lyrics!!!!
I can’t watch the last oompa loompa leave without quoting Botchamania when they show Taz on commentary
Now for a trip on Wonka’s boat
Grandpa Joe says all Veruca needs is a kick in the pants
“Spitting’s a dirty habit” says Violet as she’s picking her nose
Oh no the tunnel scene
Everyone is scared apart from Wonka who then starts singing
That sort of calms everyone down
The boat stops outside the inventing room
“Hair cream”
Wonka is now riding a bicycle that mixes things
Mike then has exploding candy
“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker”
It’s that shot of Wonka that everyone uses as a meme
The machine then produces The Ever Lasting Gobstopper
Wonka then hands out samples then shows them annother weird machine
This machine makes one a stick of gum that is a three source dinner
Violet then takes it and eats it
Grandpa Joe calls her a nipwit
Violet then turns… violet
Violet then starts to expand and becomes a blueberry
Wonka says she needs to be rolled to the juicing room to be squeezed so she won’t explode
Time for another Oompa Loompa song
They then move on to the next stage which is lickable wallpaper
“Snozberries”
They then enter a room with fizzy lifting drinks
They leave but Charlie and Grandpa Joe stay and take a sip
They start floating upwards towards the fan above them
They start paniccing then Grandpa Joe starts burping which causes him to float back down
The only way down is by burping
These burps are clearly dubbed onto the audio
They make it back down and rejoin everyone in a room with geese that lay golden eggs
Veruca wants a golden goose from Wonka’s factory
Veruca then sings about what everything she wants NOW! – A ball, a party, a million balloons, a monkey, the whole world and lock it in her pocket
Veruca then starts trashing the room then sits on the egg scales 
The scales says she was a bad egg and goes down the shoot
Veruca’s dad then goes after her down the shoot
Another Oompa Loompa song
BRAT
CAT
SHAME
BLAME
THE MOTHER & THE FATHER
They leave and head to the Wonka-mobile
It runs on anything made of ginger
The machine starts shooting out foam and Wonka starts singing again as Mike and his mom complain
Charlie and Grandpa Joe find it funny
All of a sudden there drycleaned
“If the good Lord intended for us to walk, he wouldn’t have made rollerskates”
Wonka then shows his Wonka-Vision room
How does Mike know how TV’s work
They place a chocolate bar on the machine and it zaps it into a million pixels
It goes onto the TV and Charlie has a bite of it
Mike wants to be zapped by the machine
Mike is then shown in TV a lot smaller
Wonka tells the Oompa Loompa to take Mike to the taffy pulling room
This causes Mike’s mom to faint 
Yet another Oompa Loompa song
Now many shades of white
They leave and Wonka goes into his office and leaves Charlie and Grandpa Joe outside
Grandpa Joe barges in and wants answers for why they didn’t get the prize
Everything in Wonka’s office is chopped in half
Wonka says Charlie broke the rules when he and Joe tooked a sip of the fizzy lifting drink
“You lose! Good day, Sir”
Grandpa Joe says he’ll give the bad man The Ever Lasting Gobstopper to stick it to Wonka
Charlie then gives Wonka the gobstopper which causes Wonka to reconsider his desicion to not give Charlie the lifetime chocolate prize
Slugworth is actually names Mr Williams and works for Wonka
They leave and enter the Wonka-Vater
The Great Glass Wonka-Vater
It can go any direction you can think off
Wonka says he’s pressed every button except one and lets Charlie press it
There going straight up
They shoot out of the glass roof of the factory and float about town
Wonka says he’s giving the entire chocolate factory to Charlie as a reward 
He says his entire family can live in the factory
We end on a happy note – That makes a change
THE END
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