1973’s The Wicker Man #MovieReview

Film number 26 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1973’s The Wicker Man. The original! Not the 2006 remake with Nicolas Cage. It was rather interesting getting to see this in full as I had only seen bits of this film from a review I found on YouTube. Getting to see the final scene with The Wicker Man on fire was really cool to see. I kind of felt a little sorry for Sergeant Howie as, to me, he failed in his mission. However, he did deserve it! He is the only policeman to take matters into his own hands and do what he just because he can despite being told constantly that he needed a permit from Lord Summerisle. Just barging into people’s homes and even a school just made him more of an asshole. Even before he gets on the island, he’s bossing people about. Do police officers have the right to do the things Sergeant Howie did in this film? If you have seen this and/or the remake then let me know what you thought of either. Here is what I had to say while watching The Wicker Man

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Film – The Wicker Man
Year – 1973
Director – Robin Hardy
Staring – Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Diane Cilento
IMDb Rating – 7.7/10
My Rating – 7.5/10
 
BAGPIPES!!!
During the opening credits, we see a plane flying around being flown by Sergeant Howie
Trees
More trees
Planes can travel on water?
Give me a dingy
Sergeant Howie isn’t allowed on the island as it is private land
They eventually let him on the island
Sergeant Howie is looking for a missing girl, Rowan Morrison
No one knows who she is
“She’s not from the island”
Feel like I’m watching Last of the Summer Wine
Howie arrives at May Morrison’s sweet shop and has a chat
May doesn’t know her own daughter
“I’m drawing a hare” – No, you’re painting a hare
Haha, you got paint on you
The 9 year old knows who Rowan is and no one else
She thinks Howie is talking about the hare
At The Green Man Inn
Hello, Officer
Howie has a chat with Alder MacGreagor
Hello, Willow
Time for a song about Willow
THE LANDLORD’S DAUGHTER
Anytime I hear Willow, I constantly think about Jeff Hardy’s alter ego in TNA Wrestling
Everyone has their own line in this song?
Have they been rehearsing this for this occasion?
ORDER! ORDER AT THE BAR!
Like I can see that photo from back here
No one at the bar has seen her
That food doesn’t look properly cooked
No apples!
“Food isn’t everything in life”
Howie then goes for a walk in the night and comes across couples having sex in a field
Lots of couples having sex!
There’s a naked woman crying over a grave
Back inside
Howie has a prayer before he goes to sleep
Flashback to Howie giving a sermon in church 
Back to reality
Willow is in the room next to Howie’s and pounds on the wall and sings
Howie has a closer listen to the singing by standing next to the wall
Why is Willow performing this song in the nude – I’m not complaining before you ask
Don’t think Howie likes what’s he’s heard
The next morning
Howie doesn’t believe in sex before marriage and is already married
Howie then heads outside to find a male teacher and schoolboys dancing around a maypole
Is it a requirement to be a specialist in playing the violin 
Inside the school, the schoolgirls are being taught about the history of the maypole
The maypole represents a penis?!?
Howie barges in and has a chat with Miss Rose
Now for a lesson from Sergeant Howie about Rowan’s disapearrance
I hope none of that was important
No one knows who she is either by name or by the photo
There’s a bug attached to string attached to a nail inside the desk
Rowan’s name is in the school register
Sergeant Howie does what he wants when he wants
They claim that Rowan doesn’t exist
And they don’t say the word “DEAD”
Their schools are taught about re-encarnation 
Howie then has a walk through the graveyard
There’s a woman breastfeeding and holding an egg :S
Think it’s obvious Sergeant Howie a Christian
Worst…. Lawnmower… Ever
Howie finds Rowan Morrison’s grave
The tombstone is a tree which has her abilical cord attached to it
Back at May Morrison’s shop
Did she shove a frog down her throat
Frogs cure sore throats?
Howie then goes to up Rowan’s records in the library
Rowan Morrison isn’t dead!
But they have a grave for her
“How did she die?” – HOW DID SHE GET BURNED???
They sell foreskins?
Howie then talks to the photographer for Summerisle Festivals
Don’t think the townfolk are co-operative with Howie
In a blossom field
This looks like a crapper version of Stonehenge
More nude women
So this dance ritual involves jumping over fire
At Lord Summerisle’s mansion
Looks like a castle
True Scots were kilts from what this film has taught me
Hello Lord Summerisle
They have a chat about Rowan Morrison
Howie wants permission to dig up Rowan’s grave
What religion requires women to jump over bonfires nude?
“What’s all this then?” – You’re a British policeman! Don’t speak American
It looks pretty clear that Christopher Lee is wearing a wig
Summerisle tells Howie how everything came to be
This is more of a history lesson than anything else
Howie accuses Lord Summerisle of being a paegan
Scotland is a Christian country?
At Rowan’s grave
Howie has dug up Rowan’s coffin to find a dead hare inside it! Not Rowan
Back at Summerisle’s Mansion
More singing
There’s a lot of this in this film
He brought the dead hare to Lord Summerisle’s house
Howie explains everything to Summerisle
Howie then claims Rowan was murdered in a paegan style
Turns out tomorrow is May Day Celebration
Howie then breaks into the photographer’s shop and begins looking through photos of last years May Day Celebration
So that’s how you develop a film photo
Howie thinks Rowan will be a human sacrifice
Howie can read outload without moving his lips – That’s talent
He reads about what takes place on May Day
Mostly the parade and the characterss that lead the parade
Howie is about to head to his plane but it isn’t working
Oh shit! It’s The Wyatt Family
WE’RE THE LORDS OF MISCHIEF
It’s May Day
That mascot thing is toying with Sergeant Howie
It leads him a party being held in the cemetary
Lord Summerisle then gives a speech
He says a sacrifice will be made today
Back at May Morrison’s shop
Howie tells May that Rowan is alive
Howie says he will arrest anyone who gets in his way for murder
Can policemen just casually barge into people’s homes?
A folk “Baa Baa Black Sheep”
That kid just fell out of a wardrobe
How did Sergeant Howie get on that ship so quick
Howie then finds a place where they make coffins and gets spooked when he sees a dead body
Howie then heads back to Green Man Inn
Howie then has a nap and overhears a conversation between Willow and Alder about the festival
“That’ll make you sleep, my pretty serge”
Howie wakes up to a burning hand
He then knocks out Alder and steals his costume for the parade
Is Lord Summerisle dressed as a woman
This is the weirdest parade I’ve seen
They make their way to “Stonehenge”
The swordsmen perform The Star of David with their swords and place them over people’s heads
After beheading one of the creatures they head to the beach
Lord Summerisle then casts a prayer to the sea
Rowan Morrison is on top of the mountain
Howie saves Rowan from being sacrificed and she leads him through the caves to safety
They escape through the cave and find Willow and Summerisle
Rowan was working with Summerisle all along
It was a trap!
A swerve!
It turns out Sergeant Howie is the sacrifice
“You came here to find Rowan Morrison but it is we who have found you”
Everyone has been messing with Sergeant Howie since he arrived
That dude on the right looks like Earthquake (John Tenta)
They cut open Sergeant Howie’s cloths and prepare him for the sacrifice
Why put paint on his chest if they’re just gonna cover it up
“It it time to keep with your appointment with The Wicker Man”
Howie has a last cry for help to not have him killed
Howie says everyone will kill Summerisle if the crops fail to grow again
They take him to The Wicker Man
“OH GOD! OH JESUS CHRIST! OH MY GOD! CHRIST!”
I will admit, The Wicker Man is a scary looking thing
They have animals inside as well
Sergeant Howie gets placed inside The Wicker Man 
Lord Summerisle casts another pray to sacrifice Howie
Time to light up The Wicker Man
They have a sing-song while Sergeant Howie gets burned alive
Sergeant Howie sings his own song before giving his last pray
Sergeant Howie wants Christian God to have his soul not their God
Sergeant Howie is killed in the fire
There goes the head as we get a close up of the sun
THE END
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