Audition (Odishon) #MovieReview

Now that I’ve cooled off from what I’ve just witnessed, film number 25 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” was 1999’s Japanese drama, horror, thriller “Audition”. Or to give it’s proper name in Japanese “Odishon”. Thought that some of the scenes dragged a little bit and was very confused during the flashback scenes. Speaking of scenes, that scene of Asami doing her torturing at the end of the film was very creepy and completely freaked me out. She comes across as a sweet innocent girl then you see what she did to Shigeharu. All you heard was the sound effects of wires grinding through flesh and bone and needles being stabbed in eyes and tongues. Don’t think I’m gonna be sleeping tonight after seeing that. I wouldn’t mind watching it again with either subtitles or a dub-over so I could understand the dialogue. Apart from that, I enjoyed the film. If you have seen the film, then let me know what you thought of it. Here is what I had to say about 1999’s Audition (Odishon)

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Film – Audition (Odishon)
Year – 1999
Director – Takeshi Miike
Staring – Ryo Ishibashi, Eihi Shiina, Tetsu Sawaka
IMDb Rating – 7.3/10
My Rating – 7.1/10
 
This is all in Japanese so already I’m buggered
A small child is carrying what looks like flowers through a hospital
There is a dying woman in bed
Well she’s dead
The small child arrives
He was carrying his school project 
I’m already shedding a tear over the loss
Time for some father & son bonding
Ocean
Fisherman
I got a fish!
Your fish is puny! I will catch a bigger one
One of the fisherman gets a fish and a phonecall at the same time
They’re eating the fish without gutting it’s innards and bones and other parts 
So has time past and the child is now a teen/adult
That dog better not die in this film – Seen too many dog deaths in this 1001 film challenge
Now for the washing up
Now to watch and edit footage of what looks like a riot
They look over the footage
The man we’re following is named Shigeharu
You are not wearing that scarf properly
Is this woman asking Shigeharu out on a date
Why so sad Shigeharu?
At a bar
Back in the days when people could smoke indoors
They seem to be having fun
Stop ease dropping barman
Just like James Bond, Shigeharu likes his martinis shaken, not stured
I think Shigeharu wants to move to America or go on holiday there
At a office
Did I just spot a New Japan Pro Wrestling poster in the background
I wish I knew what they were talking about but I have no subtitles nor a English Dub so I’m really buggered
That document looks important
Bloody traffic
Shout out to Nissan
Who is that little girl
Fade to black 
Shigeharu arrives at home with shopping
So are these meant to be dating profiles
She looked hot
She looked hot
She doesn’t look hot
Maybe a one night stand with her
Think he’s found the girl he likes
How many files of women do you need to sift through
Sorry photo of a woman, you can’t see what I’m doing
Phone call time!
Now that’s over with, back to women hunting
Go away son, you can’t see this
Oh crap, I’ve spilled coffee on one of them
Now he’s found a woman he likes
Her name is Asami Yamazaki
Japanese monolauge
Is she the girl from the hospital that we say at the start
Thought she was dead
Time to do some research on dinosaurs
GODZILLA!! GODZILLA!!!
Shigeharu and Asami then talk 
OK that wasn’t Asami
Nice one, son!
In a empty room with a chair
There doing auditions for women – Since when was this X-Factor all of a sudden
Only thing is.. This looks more boring than actual X-Factor
CHEERLEADER!!!
Salsa dancer!
Kobuki dancer
Bikini model
Bad time to get a phone call
Epilepse warning! Jesus!
This failed didn’t it?
Back to the searching
Stop perving cameraman
TITS!
You slit your wrists for fun?!?
Time for woman #30 – Yes 30!
Looks like this one is going well
I think Shigeharu likes her
So….. Threesome!
Think they’re done for the day
Back at home
You greedy bastard! You eaten all the food
He takes the profile for Asami and gives her a call
So is Shigeharu cheating on the woman in the photo for Asami?
That office chair has Darth Vader’s helmet attached to it
Shigeharu then meets with Asami for dinner
Asami looks innocent enough
Rather shy
Speak up, I can barely hear you
They both order casserole?! 
Also, you can get casseroles in Japan? I’ve learned something today!
Think things are going well between the two
On a golf driving range on a rooftop
It has taken me 41 minutes to find out Shigeharu’s mate’s name – It’s Yasuhisa
They have a chat about Asami
Did Shigeharu just say “Can I have her against the toilet?”
Shigeharu leaves as Yasuhisa looks concerned… or upset I’m not sure
Shigeharu again goes over Asami’s profile
Cut to Asami 
Cut back to Shigeharu asleep
Back to Asami who is on her knees staring at the phone
The next day
Shigeharu clearly isn’t interested in the woman he lives with at the moment
I don’t even know who she is!
At the office
Looks like it’s the end of a work day
The office woman wants to have a word with Shigeharu
Well bye then
Laptops in 1999 look like crap
I can see her spine!
Stop staring at the phone
If your that concerned then call her 
There you go
Will you answer that fucking phone already
That sack just moved!
Asami agrees to meet Shigeharu for a drink and a chat
Asami drinks beer! NICE!!!
That looked badly edited
How the hell did it get so empty?
Is it bad that I know what’s coming so I’m preparing myself
What the hell, we’re in another restraunt
Just have sex with her already
Time to head home
Asami’s coat looks horrible!
Bye Asami, see you later
Why are you wearing your seatbelt?
Why are we looking up facts about dinosaurs
Why does Shigeharu’s son have a thing for dinosaurs
If this is Shigeharu’s son’s bedroom then where is his bed?
Shigeharu and his son have a chat about Asami
In the countryside
Over the hills and far away – Why is that stuck in my head?
Why am I on a balcony looking at a beach 
More talking between Shigeharu and Asami
Think she wants to go to sleep, Shigeharu 
Asami is now unbuttoning her blouse and is now getting naked
Don’t get naked and then not show up anything you tease!
She pulls up the covers to reveal a scar on her thigh
Just fuck her already!
Here we go!
Well that was quick!
Lasted 10 seconds
Shigeharu gets a call from the receptionist
Shigeharu is called to the office for a meeting with Yasuhisa
Yasuhisa tells him off for sleeping with Asami
He quickly forgives him
Go on Shigeharu! Show your anger by throwing your scarf on the floor!
Shigeharu heads to an address he found in the office 
It takes him to a bordered up house
That was flimsy bordering
Shigeharu breaks in and has a look around
He find a old man in a wheelchair playing a piano
One of his wheelchair handles has ballerina shoes on it
Shigeharu has a chat with him
Really wish I has subtitles or a voiceover
The old man turns around and laughs at Shigeharu 
I am very confused now
WHEELCHAIR CAM!
So this old man burned Asami’s vagina when she was a kid and that is why he has her shoes – OW!
You can walk!
Shigeharu leaves and heads to a underground bar
Their fire exit signs are the same as ours here in Britain!
Who are you?
They have a chat about something
Why is this shot tilted? Bloody cameraman and his tripod!
WHAT IS THE BAG?
Those are moving ears and tongues!
Is Shigeharu next?
Back home
Is she even relevant to the plot?
Oh Oh
Think the dog suspects something!
Shigeharu comes home later in the night and pours himself a glass of whiskey
Shigeharu collapses on the floor and we get a flashback to a earlier conversation between him and Asami
You can tell when the next scene is coming when the music kicks in
Cut to a teenage Asami on the floor with the scars
More flashbacks
Flashback scenes shouldn’t be this long
Why are they introducing themselves to strangers?
Back to reality and Asami unzips Shigeharu’s trousers
How did she get so sweaty
Now she’s not sweaty
Now she’s in a sailor outfit
Now it’s the sack!
What the hell just happened?
Shigeharu goes to open the sack and out pops a man with no feet, jaw and missing a few fingers
Out comes Asami who has a bowl of puke
This man has no tongue and is now drinking the puke
Is this someone Asami has had with her for a while
The old man in the wheelchair arrives with a pair of burning pliers and crawls towards teenage Asami
So she let him burn her?
Oh no not the wire
Asami wraps the wire around the old man’s neck and he doesn’t pay attention
That sounded awful through headphones
LOTS OF FLASHBACKS!!!
Now back to reality as Shigeharu collapses
Asami is in the house preparing herself with rubber gloves and a apron
SHE’S KILLED THE FUCKING DOG!!! FOR FUCK SAKE!!!
This can’t be good
She stabs Shigeharu in the tongue with a needle!
After stabbing him, she gets a sheet out and places him on top of it
Out come the scissors as she cuts off Shigeharu’s jumper and then unbuttons his shirt
She then stabs him in the stomach with a lot of needles
That looks painful
She then places needles in his eyes
The sound alone is crinchy
Not even Deathmatches in wrestling are this sick and twisted
How is she getting pleasure out of this
Oh no not the wire!
She places cuffs around Shigeharu’s ankles and begins to saw away at them with the wire
She’s laughing and smiling throughout this
And there goes the foot
I am now freaked out!
The sound of a door opening scares Asami as Shigeharu’s son enters to find his dad in the state that he is in
I think she just killed the son
Now he’s in bed with her!
It was all a dream
Shigeharu still has his feet
That was fucked up
Shigeharu and Asami have a chat in bed and Asami cuddles up to him
They fall asleep and we’re back at the hacking
He is scared by perfume
Somehow she has flown down the stairs and her neck muscles start moving
The son called for help – Might be too late!
She’s still alive!
Asami has a few words for Shigeharu 
Time for a Shigeharu monolague
THE END
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