Film number 19 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge was 1924’s “The Great White Silence” A silent documentary about Captain Scott’s adventure to the South Pole with his crew. However, I spent more time reading and learning about seals and penguins. I was bored after 10 minutes and did not enjoy this at all. The first film so far that I have not liked. All I did throughout by write-up below was either get sidetracked, make up dialogue or complain about the amount of reading. Also another thing that I found unsettling was the mascot. A black cat! What could be wrong with a black cat? We’ll it’s not that, it’s what they named it. They named this black cat “Ni**er!” And in 2014 this really doesn’t settle well. All this film made me do was consider watching MTV’s Wildboyz staring Jackass’s Steve-O & Chris Pontious! So while I watch that, enjoy what I had to say about 1924’s “The Great White Silence”. If you’ve seen this, let me know what you thought of it in the comments section.
Film – The Great White Silence
Year – 1924
Director – Herbert G. Ponting
Staring – Robert Falcon Scott, Herbert G. Ponting
IMDb Rating – 7.8/10
My Rating – 4/10
It’s a slide show… with READING!
MORE READING about The Antarctic
Only thing I know about The South Pole is that it’s covered in snow, Metallica played a gig there & 30 Seconds to Mars made a music video there
A picture of Captain Scott
I am now done with reading
IT’S A MAN
“I’m rolling… and action!”
The text has gone from white to orange
Infact… EVERYTHING’S ORANGE
A ship gets prepared to sail to The South Pole
Why do they need 19 ponies?
MORE BLOODY READING
The background music reminds me of “Dueling Banjos” from Deliverance
Boxing?!? We’ll they have to keep themselves entertained somehow
The ship leaves as people wave it goodbye
Why am I reading the words in Richard Attenborough’s voice?
A cameraman got so bored he filmed the ponies
Time for a haircut
It takes two people with scissors to cut his hair
“Hold still will ya, or I’ll made you bold!”
The text and picture have gone purple
Pull harder shipmates
Back to orange
Now we’ve got opera music
Now blue text and picture
The sound of the sea makes me want to go to the toilet
White text now!
“Mine! Mine! Mine!”
They hit frozen sea ten days after departing
Last time a ship and a iceburg met… I’m not even going there
It’s a snow mountain
This film can’t make it’s mind up about what colour it wants to be in
How have they not got hypothermia
It’s a map of New Zealand showing us the route they took
If they headed north according to that map, they would be in the Middle East or Japan
They used the ship to break the ice so they could sail ahead
No one bothered to bring any grit?
Also, how have the ponies not died?
“Just smile and wave, boys”
They killed the penguins
And the seals
Close-up shot of the ship plowing through ice
Facts about the ship
I should point out that the ship is called Terra Nova
They told be this earlier but I wasn’t paying any attention
So to film that close-up, they build a platform and held it together with string and the cameraman laid across it
It took them three weeks to get through the ice
What was the point in going to the South Pole in the first place?
“I spy with my little eye something beginning with….”
“If you say S again, I’ll throw you overboard”
Back to the map which tells us that they have made it to The Great Ice Barrier
22 miles of iceberg can cover all of London back in 1924!
Now that everything’s purple, all I have is Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” in my head
Lots of ice!
That’s an awesome photo
The South Pole has a volcano?
Sorry… HAD a volcano?
HOW THE HELL ARE THE PONIES ALIVE?!?
Also, HOW HAS NO ONE DIED FROM THE COLDNESS?!?
I’m getting annoyed at the smallest things now
How has that sled WITH TRACKS not fallen through the snow yet
Am I now watching Snow Dogs with Cuba Gooding Jr?
This film is making me tired
It’s a house! Made of bricks and wood
That volcano is smoking a fair bit
There mascot is a cat… called “N*gger”
It’s a black cat as well so this really isn’t settling in well
A seals home is under the ice and snow?
Seals like waves
Last time I saw a seal on TV, it was getting killed and eaten in Argentina by Shamu on MTV’s Wildboyz with Jackass’s Chris Pontious & Steve-O (anyone remember that show?)
A photographic sled? It’s a sled with camera equipment on it so nothing special
This cameraman is the only one wearing sensible clothing
I am now watching a baby seal breastmilk?
I just watched a seals first steps… well it’s waddled but I’ll let it slide
Spent more time on these seals than anything else now
“I can’t do it”
“Yes you can… Believe!”
“I did it”
The cameraman tells us that he camped out in 0 degree tempuratures for these seal shots
A monster seal!
To quote The Automatic – “What’s that coming the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster?”
The crew then unload equipment and sleds for a exploring party
Cue the theme from Jaws
The killer whale has brought a pack with him and they go hunting
That whale is about to attack the momma seal!
A harpoon is fired from the ship scaring the whales
The Terra Nova leaves The South Pole to return home
“Lets get together for a photo”
Captain Scott apparently stayed behind with a few members of the crew
Tempurates got between -20 to -50 degrees on nights
We get a audio clip from someone from 2010 – Why was this here?
Time for football
How fitting since the World Cup is currently taking place in Brazil as I watch this
Now for skiing practice
Norweigans calls skis “Shes”
“Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work we go”
Another nice photo there from the inside of a cavern
Jack Frost’s Castle – Looks like a iceberg to me
Meet Osman, the leader of the dog pack
And Kris, not the leader
Seal meat today, biscuits tomorrow
“Stay still, ya bastard!”
Ten dogs can carry 1000 pounds of goods
If my maths is correct then one dog can carry 100 pounds on it’s own
Back with Captain Scott and his ponies
That Lieutenant has Nosferatu’s nose!
Seagulls sit on their eggs like chickens
It shimmies into place and waits for the eggs to hatch
We get to watch one of the eggs hatch
Did that text use the phrase “Shell Out”?
They just compared new born seagulls to Yorkshire Terriers
“What shall we name him?”
Now for facts and history about penguins
I really am getting bored of this now
The penguins eyes look spooked out
Penguins use stones as wedding rings to us for marriage
Just passed the one hour mark and am very tempted to which this off and put Wildboyz on
These lady penguins look like their ‘pleasuring’ themselves – There actually calling for their husbands
The film then asks us a question – Do shrimps make good dads?
GO ON PENGUIN! KICK HIS ASS! THAT’LL TEACH HIM FOR TRYING TO STEAL YOUR UNBORN BABIES!
The penguins then attack the cameraman by biting at his kneecaps
The penguins then give up and let the cameraman stroke them
Time for a Seagull vs Penguin fight
So the seagull takes the penguins’s eggs and flys away! What a bastard
I am slowly fallling asleep even more than I was earlier
That shot looked animated!
After a while, the camera crew chase the penguins and play with them
Back with Captain Scott and his ponies
“They waved a last goodbye”
They travel 400 miles in 38 days to reach the Beachmore Glacier
NOW THE FUCK ARE THE PONIES STILL ALIVE
They leave the ponies behind and carry on on foot taking the sleds with them
600 miles of walking!
It can’t be that cold if they can casually take their shoes, socks and hats off without moaning about it being cold
Time for some Soup in a Cup
Time for bed
It really can’t be that cold is one of the men can sleep shirtless in his sleeping bag
They’ve made it to The South Pole – On January 18th 1912 they did
TOO MUCH READING
This film really doesn’t hold up in modern day filmmaking
They head back to Terra Nova
It took the 18 days to do 118 miles
Edgar Evans has suffered a concussion and died
Still they continue on their way
On March 16th, Captain Oates can’t go any further do to the amount of frostbite in his feet
11 more miles to go!
They couldn’t make and they all died from exhaustion, hunger and suffering
MORE FUCKING READING!