The Birth of a Nation #MovieReview

(sighs) Film number 20 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge was 1915’s “The Birth of a Nation”. Good God, what a load of crap this was. The only film so far that I’ve switched off. It dragged in scenes. There was scenes where I had no clue what was going on. None of it was explained well. I had no idea who anyone was. It got to the point where I couldn’t care less. I know that the book tells me that there’s scenes later on where the KKK torture black people and I knew before I even started watching this that it wasn’t going to go well. This film was the first film to be shown in The White House upon it’s release for President Woodrow Wilson. It is also based on the Thomas Dixon’s extremely racist play “The Clansman: An Historical Romance of the Ku Klux Klan.” Again, I wouldn’t recommend it but if you want to try this for yourselves then go right ahead. Here’s what I had to say about 1915’s “The Birth of a Nation” before I gave in and threw in the towel

Image

Film – The Birth of a Nation 
Year – 1915
Director – D.W. Griffith
Staring – Lillian Gish, Mae Marsh, Henry B. Walthall
IMDb Rating – 6.9/10
My Rating – UNRATEABLE
 
Reading
Oh fuck it’s a 3 hour silent film set to music
They have an auction to sell a slave worker
Reading about the plot
You are clearly wearing a wig
In Pennsylvania
More reading
“I say young girl come here!”
“Not now, I have to stroak my pussy… cat”
“WAKE UP YOU LAZY SOD”
In the Southland we meet Bennie Cameron
Those kids just fell out of a trailer
We then meet Margaret 
We them meet the mother and the pet sister, as they put it
“What’s that? The cameraman is going to pay more attention to those puppies than us!”
Margaret hugs Bennie
That kitten and puppy are clearly meant to be
“I come baring a message”
More reading – Didn’t I have enough reading in the last film I just watched
Some men arrive and they all shake hands
“I have a top hat! Sadly there’s no bunny rabbit inside it!”
“Everyone inside now”
We then meet Chums
“You dress like a scruf”
Not by the hair
So are these two friends that like fighting each other
More handshakes
“Everyone! Upstairs!”
At the cotton fields
There a couple 
And they have some cows
Love Valley! Does that really exist
“My cotton! No my cotton”
So cotton comes from flowers?
A picture 
One downside so far – WHO THE HELL IS EVERYONE?
In the slave quarters
I really don’t wanna continue incase I say something offensive/racist etc.
The slaves have a dance in front of the rich people
The rich people leave impressed and shake hands
The gathering storm
Back at the house
“If the North loses, the south rises”
Is this film about the civil war?
I am confused
Why are we in a library
“Slave! Clean my rag!”
You are clearly not happy
When there is reading, the text doesn’t stay on the screen long enough for me to read it
You’re not fooling anyone with that wig
“Do as I say, poor person!”
Did the maid just spit at him before crying
The leader has a weakness to women
Also, how did the maid’s top get ripped so we see her shoulder
Too many things going on
Am I watching TNA Impact when they were one hour long and Vince Russo was booking
Slow down, what the fuck is going on
“Bye bye people with money”
President Abraham Lincoln signs something – I not sure because the text buggered off
Did everyone back in the early days write with ink and feathers
Back with the rich
Is that Guy Hawkes
Now I really have no clue what’s going on
After the first Bull Run
Time for a dance
I can’t even see that bonfire taking place
This isn’t very good 
Time for bed
Except no one goes to bed
He woke her up with the Non-Confederat flag drapped across her face
So are we gonna have a war
“I am a man on a horse! Watch me ride away”
The assembly call
All these trumpets and drum roll, I’m half expecting Jona Lewie’s “Stop the Calvary” to start
Instead we get an orchestral version of “O’ Christmas Tree”
“Conquer We Must”
Now there’s a parade
What the fuck is going on?
“Let’s ride”
So we are off into war
Who are they up against may I ask?
The kids look worried about what could happen so they get sent back inside
Have they actually changed clothes at any point? – Smelly bastards
Later that day
Now two and a half years later
Reading
The last line in that letter says “Your big” – That’s “You’re Big”
So she’s happy that she got a letter from someone
Did this film really just call them “Negro Regiments”
How times have changed
How ironic, there’s danger afoot and the door’s locked and you can’t find your keys in the panic
War looks to have broken 
The other army shoot the waiter in the foot then destroy the house
WAR
HUH
WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
For this film, whatever they want
“The bad guys went that way!”
The mom and daughter are kept safe in a cellar
Instead of panicing they have a laugh
Feel like I’m watching the same scenes over and over
How is there a fire in the house?
The brother has a photo of his sister on him even at war
I’m bored now
They’re dead
The rich then pack some rags and give them to the marshall looking dude
Does the sister want to have sex with the marshall or someone with a big gun – No pun intended
War’s still going on
Looks prettty rough
Oh No, the food train took a wrong turn and was stolen by the other army
Who am I rooting for?
General Lee! What’s he doing there? Shouldn’t he be trying to storm Takeshi’s Castle?
I really am at a lost for words as to what’s going on?
The North finally wins
News breaks to the rihc that the sons are dead
Abe Lincoln then meets with family members for a chat
I am now skipping bits as I’m really lost and want this to be over already
A violin version of “God Save the Queen??!?”
Patched Corn and Sweet Potato Coffee – Is that a thing?
This really is dragging now
General Lee surrendered and they all celebrate
END OF PART ONE
PART TWO
This is in parts! Oh FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU…………
Reading
Things are happening
I’m getting bored
Nothing makes sense
FUCK IT I QUIT
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s